Balticon will be held on the weekend of May 24 – 27. Below is my schedule (although, as usual, there may be some additions and changes by the convention):

…

FRIDAY

Project Tracking for Editors (6:00 pm) with Lesley Conner, Elektra Hammond, Brian Koscienski, Neal Levin and Trish J. Wooldridge: How to make sure all the ducks line up in a row when working on a project. Editors share war stories and recommendations on how to get organized, stay organized, and how to deal with the unexpected.

Opening Ceremonies (8:00 pm): Where the Guests of Honor and other participants rub elbows with Balticon attendees (usually with wine and cheese).

World or Plot (10:00 pm) with Charles E. Gannon, Paula S. Jordan, Richard Allen Leider, and T. C. McCarthy: Do you start with a world and build the rest around it? Or do you start with a plot outline and allow the worldbuilding to grow out of that? What do you do when you start with a plot in mind and the world that develops seems to send the plot in another direction?

…

SATURDAY

Editor’s Pet Peeves (9:00 am) with Danielle Ackerly-McPhail, Walt Boyes, Alex Shvartsman, and Leona Wisoker. A head’s up for writers on what editors don’t like to see or deal with from their authors. Headaches they’ve encountered in publishing.

Worldbuilding in Role-playing Games (3:00 pm) with L. Jagi Lamplighter, Neal Levin, Mike McPhail, and Robert Waters. How do you build a believable world for your game?

Reading (6:00 pm) with Mur Lafferty and KT Pinto: Authors read from their latest works

…

SUNDAY

Double Dragon Book Release Party (10:00 am) with Gail Z. Martin, Bernie Mozjes and Peter Prellwitz: Come celebrate the latest Double Dragon releases (including my own A BARD IN THE HAND and TWISTED TAILS IV which features one of my stories). Coffee, donuts, hard-boiled eggs, and books! Donwload flyer

You Have Gaming in my Fiction (2:30 pm) with L. Jagi Lamplighter, Neal Levin, Mike McPhail, and Alex Shvartsman: All about how to write media tie-in fiction for games.

Editor’s Q&A (4:00 pm) with Danielle Ackley-McPhail, Scott H. Andrews, Richard Allen Leider, Patrick Thomas, and Trisha J. Wooldridge: Audience asks the panel of editors questions about submissions, acceptances, and the publishing process.

Promoting Your Book (10:00 pm) with Jean Marie Ward: What works in promoting a book? Do book-signings really help a small author? Are bookmarks and/or postcards effective at garnering attention? Does a blog help or hurt an author? Does an author have to have a website? How do you find good reviewers? What tactics do not work? What methods might work for an established author that wouldn’t work for a beginner?

…

MONDAY

Plotters verse Pantsers (10:00 am) with Jack Campbell, Doc Coleman, Kat Otis, Jennifer Povey, Alex Shvartsman, and Leona Wisoker: Do you plan your story or write by the seat of your pants? Panelists share the quirks and foibles of their working method with readers. A Round Table discussion.

Making Better NPCs (Noon) with Victor Hutcherson, L. Jagi Lamplighter, Neal Levin, and Mike McPhail. How to create believable and real characters for your gaming players to interact with.

MICHAEL A. VENTRELLA: I have been a fan for so long and it’s an honor to be talking to you. What made you decide to write a book now?

HOWARD KAYLAN: I had always planned on writing a book when it was later in my life but then I looked around and realized that it was later in my life, and if I didn’t tell stories now, I’d probably never get to tell the stories at all. I’d get too old or feeble or alzheimer’s would set in or lord knows — so I decided to get it all off my chest. What are they going to do to me now?

VENTRELLA: You kept a diary all your life which helped a lot.

KAYLAN: I really didn’t need it until I got up until the ’80s and then it just all became a blur, as most of the ’80s did for those of us who lived through it.

VENTRELLA: I definitely enjoyed SHELL SHOCKED and one of the things I liked about it was that it answered a lot of the questions I was going to ask you–

KAYLAN: OK then, it’s been great talking to you, Michael!

VENTRELLA: (laughs) Which brings me to a point, about the sense of humor. The book is full of humor, of course, but so were the Turtles and your entire career. Was that unusual, especially when you were first starting with the Turtles?

KAYLAN: It’s unusual now. In any era to have a band with a sense of humor. Mr. Zappa used to say that America wasn’t ready for music with a sense of humor. In his case, he was mostly right. He proved it by lack of commercial success, in his early works especially. After us, he later made it his mission to get on the charts as many times as he could, he did really well at that.

But yes, sense of humor is very important in music. It drives me crazy to hear bands that are supposedly carrying on a sense of humor and they don’t really have one, or it’s a fake one. I don’t think it’s something you can learn.

VENTRELLA: I agree, and one of the things I enjoyed about my Turtles albums was that you sound like you’re having so much fun. And then you do songs like “Eleanor” which is almost a satire of your earlier work …

KAYLAN: Well, if you don’t have an attitude about your work and your life, then people know. It’s not like they have to look at the whole body of your work to understand that some things are a little tongue-in-cheek, they just have to understand from the get-go that not everything they see is quite as it seems. I mean, the Turtles have never held back a sense of humor. From “The Battle of the Bands” to our B sides: “Can You Hear the Cows” all the way back to “Umbassa and the Dragon” — we’re talking 1966 — we were trying to do humorous, Stan Freberg kind of B sides on Turtles records and wondering if there was an audience for it. And years later, people discovered these things. Yes, there’s an audience and all of those things are on i-tunes and as I go through my BMI statement at the end of the year I cannot believe how many people have downloaded “Can You Hear the Cows” or “Umbassa and the Dragon” or these bizarre “throw-away” B sides that we did. Trying to generate a little sense of humor out there!

If you go to a Turtles concert now as part of the “Happy Together” concert you’ll see –and I hope somebody out there does this summer — it’s our 7th year. We’ve picked up more and more shows every year and this summer is just going to be ridiculous as far as the amount of cities that we’re going to and the shows themselves … But you’ll notice at least in our portion of the show (I don’t care about anybody else), there is a huge sense of humor. We don’t get that much time to show it off in between hits because we have to get on with the show, but we show people that we still had a sense of humor, that we still look at this career of ours as just something that fell from outer space and not something we earned like a bunch of arrogant pricks.

There are people out there that are doing music in their 70s and 80s that charge you $350 a ticket (I won’t name names) and they come out, they do their hits, they do their happy little show, they won’t talk to the other members at all, they all come in separate limos and when the show is over they all go back to their little Canyon homes maybe $10 million richer — but let me tell you something. If you got to spend that kind of money to watch a bunch of guys in flannel shirts pretend they had a good time once in the Canyon someplace and you’re being forced to absorb that now … well, if you think that’s fun, then your idea of music in a live sense is severely lacking. And I recommend that you go out and see a show where you can smile through it — where you’re not going “Jesus, I can’t believe I paid for this.”

Ultimately you’re a lot better off just buying the CD and putting your headphones on. If you want the concert experience, do that. Don’t spend the $350.

VENTRELLA: Absolutely.

KAYLAN: We’ve always contended that if you see us having fun on stage, you’ll have fun in your seats. That’s one of the largest reasons that we don’t do sound checks, that we don’t do rehearsals. Everybody’s flying in to our first show which is the Hard Rock Casino in Biloxi on June 8th and I’m coming in the day of the show. I don’t want to rehearse. I don’t want to see the room first. I don’t want to meet anybody that I’m working with. That keeps it new for me.

I’ve been doing this for fifty years. When people ask “Why do you even bother?” “Is there anything new for you?” “Is there anything left for you?” “Are you bored silly doing the same show for forty-seven years?” I tell them, “No, because quite frankly, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I really don’t, and that’s the way I want it. It’s the only edge I’ve got left. It’s the only thing that keeps me on my toes. I don’t want to be bored. I want to have as much fun every night as I hope the people in the audience have, because for most of them, that’s the only chance in their lifetimes to see us.

VENTRELLA: You’re doing a huge tour this summer. Are you meeting people afterwards and signing the book?

KAYLAN: I will pre-sign the book. Meeting people is difficult to deal with because we’ve got hundreds of miles to go to the next show and we’re leaving right after the show ends. It’s not because I’m anti-social. But I’ll pre-sign all that stuff; records too, and CDs.

We’re also selling a box set of 45s this summer which should be a very interesting experience to those vinyl lovers out there. For those who aren’t quite sure if their turntables still work, we’re including a special Turtles/Flo and Eddie spindle so you can play the 45s on your existing record player. But that’s the kind of guys we are.

VENTRELLA: Let’s go back to talk about “The Battle of the Bands” which is one of my favorite albums. I remember getting that and at first being confused because I thought it really was a bunch of different bands — but I was twelve. That was your first album that really was dedicated to being an album as opposed to a collection of singles and songs. And you had quite a few hits on there and a remake of “Chicken Little Was Right” which was one of those B sides you talked about… I think that album has stood up over the years.

KAYLAN: That was our only concept album. I don’t know that it did us any good but you’re right — we did have a couple of big hits off it. It was a lot of fun and if you paid attention to it and got the fact that there we were on the inside of the record dressing up like twelve different groups and sounding like twelve different groups … I’m not sure that the public understood it but I’ll tell you, Zappa did.

VENTRELLA: I also want to talk about a couple other of your old songs before we discuss Zappa. “Sound Asleep” — you talked about that a bit in the book about how much work went into it. That’s kind of like your “Good Vibrations.” I’ve got to tell you how happy I was when I finally found a stereo version back in the late 70s because it just sounds so much better. Are you disappointed that didn’t do better? To me, that should have been another of your huge hits.

KAYLAN: I don’t think so. I think any time you put a bunch of clucking chickens and saws and trees falling from speaker to speaker — which in stereo you’ve got to admit makes a big difference as opposed to the mono version of “Sound Asleep” which is “What’s that? What is that noise? Is that a frog? Is that a ratchet? I can’t tell…” — so there are a lot of sounds. We weren’t consciously trying to do anything like “Good Vibrations.” If anything, we wanted to create a sort of a little mini rock opera but we didn’t know what the hell we were doing.

It was the first time we didn’t have any studio supervision. We had no one telling us what we could do or couldn’t do. So we made a record as if we were doing it for ourselves. We didn’t care if it worked. All we were trying to say to White Whale records was “We’re sick and tired of your corporate producers. We’re going to do it ourselves and if you don’t like it, you can bring in somebody else and we’ll try him out.” They didn’t take us seriously so we gave them “Sound Asleep” and it had a logo on it at the time saying we were the producers and all of a sudden, after so many years, they were forced to buy in to whatever we gave them.

It turned out well eventually but it took a minute for us to get our sea legs. We wanted to be The Beatles so we became Blimp. We were just a bunch of kids and we didn’t know what we were doing. By the time we figured it out, we got it to work in our favor. We had three separate periods of hit records during the years that were separated by periods of anxiety. Every group goes through it. That’s when you need a sense of humor.

VENTRELLA: What do you think is your most under-appreciated Turtles song that you wish had gotten more attention?

KAYLAN: “She’s My Girl.”

VENTRELLA: That’s a great song. Another one that changes tempo and does a lot of interesting things in stereo.

KAYLAN: “Interesting” was the idea. We were interesting, but the label would give us things like “Who Would Ever Think That I Would Marry Margaret.” And I’d say “Wait a minute; I’ve got as much sense of humor as the next guy but I will not throw my work out into the street like that.” That’s just crap. Even listening to it all these years later. That was the most bullshit record I have ever been a part of. I wasn’t wrong.

VENTRELLA: And it wasn’t a hit, either.

KAYLAN: That’s why we left the company. That’s what it meant to us. They had us by the short and curlies but they were never the bosses of us. And we walked. And we gave them “Lady-O” — one final song — and we knew it wasn’t going to chart. I just wanted it to be the last thing we said. It had a luscious arrangement. And that was our last record. It was posthumous, but we didn’t care.

VENTRELLA: One of the things I liked about the book is that you name names. You’re not afraid to name groupies, ex-wives, friends, enemies — Anyone objected to that yet?

KAYLAN: Oh yeah, everybody! What are they going to do? I mean, what is their recourse here? Are you going to take me to court? Are you really going to call attention to yourself by taking me to court after all this time?

Ex-wives will come to me and say “What are you thinking?” First of all, they’re surprised to hear that they’re in the book. I would say to them, “What do you mean you’re surprised? I married you. What, I’m not going to talk about it?” That would be dumb. Obviously, you’re in the book. “But I was a naughty person back then!” Oh, were you? Well, own it. “But my kids are grown up and they’re going to read that!” Well, Honey, they’ll realize that their mom had a sex life and it’s better than they thought. And she was cool way back when. So I think that’s a credit to you. And besides, you had my name and according to my lawyer, anybody who had my name? Fair game, baby.

VENTRELLA: And then you went on to work with Frank Zappa of all people. That was very successful at least in my mind. You called him a “father figure” in the book, which kind of surprised me but I can understand. I mean, he wasn’t that much older than you but he had that sort of authoritarian but yet gentle nature about him. Am I reading too much into that?

KAYLAN: Well no, you’re absolutely right. He was a very gentle man and he did not threaten. He was not that kind of a guy. He was very soft-spoken. Any criticism he gave you was well-intentioned. He was never mean for the sake of it. He was not at all that sort of authoritarian. He was just a perfectionist. This was his music and this was his band, and we had to understand when we joined Zappa that you rented yourself out, body and soul.

We knew it. The earlier Mothers should have known it. They were still bitching and moaning that they hadn’t gotten paid for their recordings. Well, get used to it, boy. You’re signing off.

And part of Frank’s genius was to take the folklore of the band, take whatever he heard and take whatever he saw around him — in the dressing room, backstage, on stage — and turn it into script. He’d turn it into stuff that he would recycle. Just like the words from “200 Motels” that came back to haunt Jeff Simmons. All of his words eventually were recycled into script that became a very good part of the show half of the time. It was a 50/50 proposition. Once Frank heard it, it never went away. And you stood a real good chance of having your words shoved back into your face. We were in no position to regret it — we said it! And so you had to own it and it was fun! It created a great bond between all of us. We were a band! We could share that kind of thing. It was fun.

VENTRELLA: Was “200 Motels” mostly scripted or was there any improvisation? Because it feels like it’s improvised in various parts.

KAYLAN: It truly wasn’t improvised. It was tight little script.

We never shot the ending, though, as I pointed out. There weren’t very many chances at that stage to improvise. The improvisation had all been done on stage or in the buses or the dressing rooms. The entire story of “200 Motels” and indeed the ending that never got filmed (which turned out to be the end of the “Fillmore” album) cohesively made that one total groupie story. “Do You Like My New Car” all the way to the end. There was the “Penis Dimension” stuff and taking it into the penismobile which was designed and totally functional and ready for scripting and we never got around to doing it because we ran out of time. Frank then composed that finale very very quickly. We learned it in a day and we shot it the same day. That was the end of the movie. We had no choice.

They threw us out of Pinewood Studios and we crossed our fingers and hoped they could edit it into something. You tell me if it worked.

VENTRELLA: I’ve seen it probably about three times, although admittedly not in the past twenty years or so. When you do “Strictly Genteel” at the end, was that scripted as well? Because it certainly doesn’t sound like it.

KAYLAN: What particular part are you talking about?

VENTRELLA: When you say “See that man over there? He’s making me do all this. Frank’s making me do all this!”

KAYLAN: No, that was not scripted. (laughs) I thought my mike was off! I thought the only guy that could hear me was in the recording room. I didn’t think Frank would ever listen to it. In fact, I’m positive he didn’t listen to it for a very long time. I don’t know how long it took him to get to that bit but I know that he was pondering what he was going to do for the ending and he really didn’t have it. I don’t think he had even opened up that mike yet; I don’t think he had found that track.

But that sort of pulled it all together at the end and turned it into a Mothers of Invention thing again. Why are we out here? When do we get paid? You know, it was just repeating what Jimmy Carl Black had been saying. And that’s what Frank wanted. That was the theme of the movie. Touring can make you crazy.

Look at me! Here it is, all those many years later — Frank is no longer with us, but I’m still on the road.

VENTRELLA: One of the charms about Zappa is that his music is so tremendously tight and yet at the same time it almost feels as if they’re making it up as they go along. You take something like “Billy the Mountain” which seems to be just telling a story and then all of a sudden without a cue, things change and it’s obviously very well practiced. Right?

KAYLAN: Well, you know, we worked twelve hours a day every day. We did not take holidays off. We didn’t do that. We would work as long as it took to get it absolutely perfect.

Now, “absolutely perfect” to Frank meant on any given night, particularly on “Billy the Mountain”, we had to figure out where we were because we had to throw in an awful lot of local references. So we had to learn the cities where we were, what the local hot spots were, where the kids went to make out, what the supermarket chain was, so we could throw names in that were familiar to a crowd in San Antonio or Minneapolis or Shreveport or whatever and personalize the show a little bit. It made for a lot better audience experience and it made Frank laugh! If you read the book, you know that’s the key — making Frank laugh was always the best thing we could do.

VENTRELLA: Absolutely. Then you had that terrible European tour where Frank got hurt and there was the whole “smoke on the water” situation. After that was over and he recovered, he redid his band and he did not ask you back. Was that because he was trying to go in a different direction or do you think there was something else there?

KAYLAN: By the time Frank reformed anything, we had gone on and signed our deal with Warner Brothers and taken the old band with us. There was no hope of reforming Frank’s band because Flo and Eddie’s drummer was Aynsley. Flo and Eddie’s keyboard player was Donnie. Flo and Eddie’s bass player was Pons. That was the band!

We were the guys. And they were tired of waiting around to hear from the Zappa office just like Mark and I were. We didn’t hear from anybody there, Frank included, for eight months. I don’t know about you, but I can’t live without knowing where my next meal is coming from for eight months, just waiting by the telephone and hoping somebody would tell me we’re a group again.

I knew it wasn’t going to happen and the main reason it didn’t happen was that we had been a tight-knit little bunch and it cost Frank dearly. In his time of his recuperation, the only person who had his ear was the lovely Miss Gail Zappa. She put it into his ear that it wasn’t a really good idea to get close to a group anyway because that would only be a heartache situation somewhere down the line and it was better off not having the Mothers at all. It would be better if he was just Zappa for a while.

I know that later we were certainly approached three separate times through members of Zappa but I can’t do that. I have been my own guy for a lot of years. Nobody wants to be in a band named Kaylan. And I certainly wouldn’t! I pity the fool who would do that, because I know what the situation was at that point, when you’re somebody else’s vocalist. It’s different. It will never be a group any more. I had been spoiled as far as working with Zappa was concerned. If I couldn’t have it that way, I didn’t want it any other way. Gail had ways of making sure that there would be a distance between us instead of the closeness we had.

VENTRELLA: Speaking of band names, you ended up with Flo and Eddie, which you were not very happy with as far as identification, but it was too late to change it at that point, right?

KAYLAN: What would you do?

VENTRELLA: I don’t know!

KAYLAN: Well, Warner Brothers thought it was a brand name worth keeping. By the time we got to Columbia, they felt the same way. It was years and years later. We had a lot of FM radio cred. We were huge on college. When you look at today’s market, for instance, and see a band with a huge college following and it still works — like Yo Lo Tengo — they can stick around for fifteen or twenty years and only appeal to college audiences, then you’ve got something. That is gold. I see those guys work it and it’s amazing to me.

VENTRELLA: “Moving Targets” came out when I was in college. I was the program director of my college radio station, and I must have played “Keep it Warm” every time I was on the air.

KAYLAN: Thank you! And you played the “Keep it Warm” from the album with all the real verses in it, not the truncated bullshit 45 that Columbia released where they took out all the good verses, made the most uncomfortable edits I have ever heard, did it on their own, didn’t call me, just did it, and it was really really bad. They didn’t give us a fighting chance.

VENTRELLA: Well, I’m glad I’ve never heard that version.

KAYLAN: Well, I’m glad it made it to FM radio. It still gets played on FM radio. I see who plays it; I see who downloads it. We do much better now than we have in the last decade or two.

VENTRELLA: “Guns” was another of my favorites off that album that I’d play a lot.

KAYLAN: Great song! Credit where credit is due — Jim Pons had a lot to do with that song. And Graeme “Shirley” Strachan from Skyhooks was wonderful. Australian dude, really helped on that.

VENTRELLA: In the meantime, you did a film called “Dirty Duck.” I remember seeing that when I was in college, too, and I must say I was not impressed. That one looked improvised.

KAYLAN: That one kind of was improvised. We had a very loose script, and the guy who directed it knew what he wanted to do and knew what the characters were going to look like. We told him from the get-go, “You’re out of your mind. There’s no way you’re going to make money with this!” He said, “I’m cool; I don’t care.”

This is the same guy who, within the production of “200 Motels” made everyone say “This guy is crazy” and then he came back with Strawberry Shortcake, thank you very much. So they weren’t that nuts.

This was a flying shot in hell. It was a personal flavor of love for Chuck Swenson, the guy who did it. Now, a fine artist. You can see his stuff online now. He is the artiste, man. He doesn’t know from cartoons any more. But at the time, that’s what he wanted to do. He knew what those voices were going to sound like and knew Mark and me from the movie so he knew exactly what kind of characters he could create for us. Me, once again the straight man, the Louie Prima of the group, being Williard Isenbaum the insurance salesman and Mark being The Duck, as he is in life. He’s sort of my real life nemesis! It was closer to his personality than he wanted to hear …

A lot of those throw-away lines whether they were to your liking at the time or not — well, I dare you to go back and look at that movie now and not get a few really good laughs because there is some pretty cool shit in there. So I’m pretty proud of the movie that would up as “Down and Dirty Duck” or whatever it was called in your X-rated theater.

But I do know that the executive producer of the movie was Roger Corman, who I was thrilled to meet and work with over the course of this thing. He’s a wonderful man and I love and admire him dearly. But he had no idea what to do with this picture. He had it opening up in XXX theaters and downtowns all over America next to XXX porno movies because he didn’t know how to sell it.

VENTRELLA: We saw it as a midnight showing at our college.

KAYLAN: Instant cult. If it has the name “Corman” on it or it says “New World Pictures” in it, you know you’re in for a night of thrills. I’m always thrilled to work with new directors, new producers, people I haven’t worked with, just to see how they work. And I didn’t even mention Roger Corman in the book at all, but I’ve got to put him right up there with one of the big influences on my life. Getting to work with him was stellar! There’s an extra bonus story that isn’t in SHELL SHOCKED that I’m just now recalling for my own self.

VENTRELLA: I’ve got an exclusive!

KAYLAN: That’s a blogosphere extra.

VENTRELLA: Thank you. Now, Strawberry Shortcake is the biggest surprise in your book. Well, maybe the White House story. But the fact that you were writing the songs for Strawberry Shortcake. That must have been a nice little paycheck.

KAYLAN: It was glorious! Truly. It wasn’t just the records. It was a TV show and they ran that thing into the ground, and then the album got very, very popular. If you grew up in the ’80s, you know those songs. You were forced, especially if you were a little girl, to listen to that shit. I know an entire generation of girls that grew up on that who still kind of melt when you sing those words. I guess I can be a “father complex guy” for a night; what’s your pleasure?

VENTRELLA: The idea that the man who sang “Penis Dimension” was doing “Strawberry Shortcut” was kind of interesting …

KAYLAN: You got to wear a lot of hats in this business, Michael!

VENTRELLA: Of course! Of all the people you’ve met — you have some great stories in the book about Lennon and Hendrix — and a lot of sad losses, too, with Nilsson and Bolan and Zappa … Is there anyone you wish you could have worked with that you didn’t?

KAYLAN: George Harrison. I never even met George Harrison. It’s just bizarre. It would have happened had I not been carted off from that party on Blue Jay Way that night in 1966. I could see him —

VENTRELLA: Through the window, yes —

KAYLAN: I could have waved had I not been handcuffed. But that was as close as I ever got to George. So I never was given the pleasure of meeting the man. I would have flown myself anywhere in the world to put my voice on his records.

VENTRELLA: The Hendrix story is one of my favorites but you’ve regaled that a couple of times in other interviews. Any other stories you’ve thought of since the book got out that you want to share?

KAYLAN: No, I’ve decided I’m done! I’m not going to do any more stories even if I think about them even if encouraged to do like you just did moments ago. I’m done, I did it. I’ve had a million nights and a million days like that, with short little brushes with danger. I never told my little happy Phil Spector story about him and his posse coming to see us at the Hard Rock Hotel — wasn’t really a hotel, it’s just this dump on Sunset Boulevard. Whatever they call it. Cafe! And he brought his bodyguards and he had this upstairs private room and there were guns on the table. It was outrageous! And we’re only talking maybe seven, eight years ago. Some of these things you don’t even want to talk about. I’m more worried about what Phil Spector can still do to me than I am what names I’ve actually called out in the book.

VENTRELLA: Got it. Understood. Now, the best news is that you eventually got the rights to the Turtles name and catalog, which has to be one of the best investments ever. You’re doing the “Happy Together” tour which also is very successful. Do you have any other plans? Are you ever going to record a new album?

KAYLAN: No, I don’t have any other plans and that’s the best part of my life. If I had plans, I’d feel like I was back on an itinerary. Except for the three months in summer, I have no plans.

We’ll see what happens ultimately but my plan is to finish this summer. I’m writing another book during the course of the summer.

We’re taking a bunch of interns with us like we did last year to handle the equipment, to do the lights, tour bus, all that crap with us. They’re from Belmont University. They pay the tuition, they come out for the summer and they get to go on the road with the Happy Together tour. It’s a very bizarre thing we do that I’m not sure anyone has ever done before. It’s a book unto itself, actually. Nonetheless, that’s what makes touring fun for me in that I get to involve myself in the creation of something else and then I do a show! Then I get back into my fantasy world …

I don’t know yet if I’m going to be working on an autobiography or rather a biography for somebody else that I’m close to, or was close to, and was mentioned in the book, or whether it will be a work of fiction. I don’t know if it’s going to work. But I’m doing it just to keep myself busy. I think that’s the most important thing. If you can just keep yourself busy then you can hang out for the rest of your life doing what you like.

VENTRELLA: Well, you’re a good writer. You were obviously the smart kid in your school so I don’t think you’ll have any problem. I’m looking forward to reading it. I’m also looking forward to seeing you when you play at Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania, which is near me. I plan on being there this summer, so I’ll wave to you.

KAYLAN: Where is that? Where the hell is Jim Thorpe? I didn’t know there was a town named that.

VENTRELLA: Isn’t that amazing? It’s a place called Penn’s Peak.

KAYLAN: How big is this town?

VENTRELLA: It’s very small but it’s a big tourist area — I don’t live in that particular town, but it’s pretty central to other areas and lots of colleges and you might have a good crowd!

KAYLAN: That sounds great! It’s a really good tour this summer. We’re often judged by the people we bring in with us, for some reason that’s OK with me. I’ll take credit or blame for the lineup this year, because I think it’s really strong. There are acts that people haven’t seen in a long long time, myself included. I’m thrilled to be touring with a bunch of people that I have respect for. These are the guys that did the singing. This isn’t some rip-off thing. I’m pleased to always be associated with this particular tour. It has the “Happy Together” Stamp of Approval as far as I’m concerned because if it says “Happy Together” without my Stamp of Approval, I’ll fucking sue ya.

VENTRELLA: And with that, I’ll thank you very much for the interview unless you have any final comments you want to make.

KAYLAN: Done, sir. Done, done done.

VENTRELLA: I really appreciate it. I’ve been a fan of yours for so long and so glad that you were willing to talk to me. Thank you very much.

KAYLAN: My pleasure, Michael. Good luck to you!

A BARD IN THE HAND is the second book in this series, featuring stories set in the world of my novels. The ebook version is now available, soon to be followed by the paperback, nook, and kindle versions.

Here are the cover blurbs:

“Magic. Knights. Werewolves. Doppelgangers. Elves. There’s no telling what will pop up in Michael A. Ventrella’s Fortannis fantasy series when he invites other writers to play in his sandbox. No need to wait for any ‘extended editions.’ These stories are good to go now.” – Daniel M. Kimmel, author of the Hugo-nominated JAR JAR BINKS MUST DIE and SHH! IT’S A SECRET.

“Curl up in your favorite chair with your favorite beverage and get ready for adventure, action and derring-do—it’s all here!” – Gail Z Martin, author of ICE FORGED

This edition features the following tales:

“The Mystery of the Black-Bearded Dwarf” by Michael A. Ventrella: Terin and his fellow squires find themselves in dwarven lands, having to solve a murder where everyone has a motive and an alibi. Can they figure out whodunnit and prevent the dwarven clans from going to war?

“Embarrassing Relations” by Bernie Mojzes and Bob Norwicke: After defending Ashbury from an unspeakable horror from beyond time and space, Maris Goselin finds herself with a new assignment: help the Duke avoid spending quality time with a gibbering out-of-town relative. It seems easy, but Maris soon realizes that although the relative may be insane, insanity is relative, and sometimes making a living has life-threatening consequences.

“Knight’s Gambit” by Tera Fulbright: A newly ordained Knight learns that some things really are black and white.

“Curso and the Perilous Purple Pixie Problem” by Roy C. Booth and Brian Woods: Curso and his friends find themselves traveling to a mysterious cave in order to save a pixie who may be more trouble than she’s worth.

“A Hero of Padrin’s Hold” by Mike Strauss: Sometimes a hero does things that are necessary, and sometimes it is best when no one knows.

“The Golden Gifts” by Laurel Anne Hill: Artha, a biata gifted in magic, must outwit a powerful necromancer. Only a few hours to complete this task remain. If Artha succeeds, her brother’s dying daughter will rest in peace forever. Failure, however, will doom Artha and her beloved young niece to the ranks of the undead.

“A Hero is Born” by Davey Beauchamp: A young man finds himself traveling with a mysterious and possibly crazy bard — which leads him meet a group of villains out to awaken a long-asleep powerful creature. If only a hero would arrive …

“The Vacarran Corsair” by Jesse Grabowski: The streets of Dockside were never the safest of places, even in broad daylight, and even for a skilled pirate. This is a place for homeless children, wealthy and ruthless thieves, and corruption. Here, even the heart of a pirate can change. Loss of innocence can sometimes remove thoughts of plunder and loot … sometimes.

“The Chandler’s Tale” by Henry Hart: Pursued by monsters, a boy becomes lost in the elven wood where he learns that some things are worth dying for.

“Beyond the Bitter River” by Jon Cory: After being banished from the kingdom, Sarlon races for the border, pursued by the king’s guards. His only hope lies in a mysterious elven girl who has taught herself how to do magic … poorly.

“Dreamed Tortures” by Mark Mensch: Nigel finds himself in the home of his long lost love, Kayleigh –however not everything is as it seems. All actions have consequences and the people he relieved of their valuable artifact have some type of payment in mind.

Anyone who has read my stories know that this is a perfect fit for me!

The series is called TWISTED TAILS and each cover features a dragon since it is published by Double Dragon books. I have a story in the latest edition, just released! My story is called “The Jesus Secret” in which the discovery of a new Dead Sea Scroll provides new facts about Jesus’ life which the Catholic Church wants to keep secret. And, of course, there’s a twist.

The series is edited by J. Richard Jacobs. This volume has as its connecting theme “Irreverence.” He explain it thusly:

Irreverence is not limited to what many people think — something to do with religion, although that can be a large part of it. Nope, it is a big word with broad meaning. Let me give you a few examples of how it is used:

I have gathered together several cheeky authors whose impiety is well known and asked them to grace these pages with words of insolence for your reading pleasure. As always, there is no genre restriction. Here you’ll find Science Fiction, Fantasy, Mystery, Thrill-a-minute-even Mainstream. The only common element here is Irreverence. The other big deal about the Twisted Tails series that is a must are unexpected endings and sheer quality of writing. Each author brings his/her unique style and voice to the page, but to get to the page the quality of writing demanded in the Twisted Tails series of anthologies had to have been there or it would have been a “no-go”. Just another rejection slip to add to the stack in an author’s dark corner. Have fun while you cringe at their out-of-line talent at twisting irreverent tales and we hope to see you again-should there be a next time. I have it on good authority that there probably will be a next time, so keep a watch for it.

Here’s the Table of Contents:

1. DEAD BABIES by Jay Greenstein

2. THE JESUS SECRET by Michael A. Ventrella

3. LUCKY CHARLIE’S ESCAPE by Margret Treiber

4. BLOOD RED by Dave Kuzminski

5. PERPETUAL STARLIT NIGHTby Michael D. Smith

6. BEYOND THE REALMS OF DEATH by J. Malcolm Stewart

7. DOOMSDAY CLUB by John Klawitter

8. WINNING IS FOR THE LOSER by J. Richard Jacobs

9. SHOCK THERAPY by Sam Bellotto Jr.

10. INTERVENTION by Eugen Bacon

11. IF TIME PERMITS by Joe Occhipinti

12. THE PROBLEM ON P3 by J. Richard Jacobs

13. JUMPING AT SHADOWS by Joe Powers

14. LADIES OF THE FOUNTAIN by Biff Mitchell

15. TWO GUYS MEET IN A BAR by Margret Treiber

16. COLLECTOR by J. Richard Jacobs

It’s available in every format you can imagine (paperback, ebook, kindle, nook…) Check it out! Get your copy today and let me know what you think of my story!

MICHAEL A. VENTRELLA: I’m pleased to be interviewing author Storm Constantine. Storm’s work has covered many genres from fantasy, dark fantasy and horror to science fiction and slipstream. She has so far written twenty-three novels, and currently has most of her short stories collected in four Immanion Press editions.

Let’s start by discussing the re-release of SEA DRAGON HEIR. There is always an urge to rewrite older materials when it gets re-released; what has changed with this edition?

STORM CONSTANTINE: My urge to tinker with old works is simply that some were written when I was much younger and certain incompetencies in the writing and structure of the stories were just too much to ignore. Also, in some cases, publishers had asked for sections to be removed, simply because they wanted a shorter book. When I came to republish the books myself, I could restore them to my original vision. As I’m an editor as well as a writer, it was impossible for me to keep my hands off revising and refining!

I don’t think the Wraeththu books (the original version of the trilogy) were edited as well as they could have been. I was such a fledgling writer then, and when I returned to the books fifteen years later to republish them I was astonished really at what I’d been allowed to get away with, in terms of inconsistencies, plot holes, wobbly structure, and so on. It was glaringly obvious to me where the stories could be successfully reinforced. Some things happened ‘off stage’ that shouldn’t have. The ending of ‘Enchantments of Flesh and Spirit’ was a prime example of that. I added a couple of extra chapters to the revised edition to ‘show rather than tell’ things that occurred.

I also re-edited THE MONSTROUS REGIMENT quite heavily, as I’d never been happy with that book. The sequel, ALEPH, had technical errors to be fixed, but I didn’t do that much to it other than that.

As the reissues of my back catalogue progressed, there was less for me to do, because I’d been improving as a writer through those years of creating the original books. By the time I got back to ‘The Magravandias Trilogy’, all I was correcting was typos. I was happy with that trilogy as it was first written.

VENTRELLA: What projects can we expect from you next?

CONSTANTINE: I have so many notes written down for both short stories and novels, but my worst obstacle to realizing them now is time. I have sent a couple of stories off to anthologies, but as I’ve not heard back from the editors yet, don’t want to say which they are, in case my stories aren’t suitable for them. I want to finish off the other four or so I’ve got half written, because it’s always handy to have unsold stories available, should I be approached by an editor. Also I simply want to get the ideas down.

Novelwise, there are several books I could write, but it’s knowing which to do first. I’ve started work on the third volume of the ‘unofficial’ third Wraeththu trilogy, which is a series of novellas set in Alba Sulh. English Wraeththu. The first two were quite emotionally grim stories about betrayal and obsession, but the third has a different tone – it just happens to have a couple of the characters in it from the first books. I want this one to be a ghost story, and already have a lot of disturbing images for it that are just pure, enjoyable, supernatural scares. There will be less angsting in this book!

Aside from that, I have notes for at least half a dozen novels that are all unconnected, some of them with chapters already written. My plan is to finish the short stories, finish the Wraeththu ghost story, then take a good long look at what I have in my ‘ideas’ folder on the computer. I just feel like I need to clear the decks before venturing into territories new.

Nonfiction-wise I’m working on some ideas with a friend for a couple of books concerning magical path-workings/visualisations. They will just be fun to do; sit down together and invent the stories for them. The difficult part will be for us to get together, since my friend is very busy and quite often off on research trips around the world. I hope to get at least one of these books out this year, though.

VENTRELLA: How did Immanion Press come to be?

CONSTANTINE: When I sold The Wraeththu Histories (the second trilogy) to TOR in America, I wished that the original trilogy had still been available in the UK. This coincided with the advent of Print of Demand publishing, which meant that it was possible for small presses to bring out books at a fraction of the price of traditional publishing. So initially, Immanion Press was set up to coincide with the Grissecon convention I ran in 2003, where I relaunched ‘The Wraeththu Chronicles’ As I was let down in the UK by a publisher who initially wanted to publish the Histories, I decided I might as well bring out my new Wraeththu trilogy in the UK too. From there came the idea to reissue all of my long unavailable back catalogue titles. Then it just grew from there. Other writers asked me about reissuing some of their out of print titles too, and I had a rather altruistic urge to help new writers get published as well. Unfortunately, the latter idea didn’t really survive contact with reality. I found that it’s incredibly difficult to sell the work of new fiction authors, so I’ve had to cut back on that dramatically.

However, the non fiction side of things does well. People buy books on certain subjects irrespective of who the author is, or what they might have written before. Generally speaking, they just want a book on a particular topic, rather than to seek a name they already know. Megalithica Books, the nonfiction imprint, came about because a friend of mine, Taylor Ellwood, was interested in getting work out through Immanion. He saw a way to expand that side of things and eventually became the manager of the non fiction line.

VENTRELLA: Many established authors are now self-publishing their back catalogues themselves, avoiding the big publishers completely. What are the disadvantages of doing so?

None really, since the big publishers are largely not interested in doing this job for us. OK, we’re not going to have big publicity budgets at our disposal, and most presses (like mine) run on a shoe string. We can’t afford to hire staff, so have to do everything ourselves, or work with volunteers. In my case I simply don’t have enough time to be a full time publicity manager as well as everything else.

For established authors, it’s great to see their often long unavailable works back in print. You just have to make sure you have a fairly active online presence to help publicize your work, and let people know where they can buy it.

Is Immanion’s goal mostly to allow for established authors to reprint old works or are you actively looking for exciting new talent as well?
As I said above, the new author experiment didn’t go too well. Sadly, it just lost me a lot of money. We’re moving into ebooks more now, though, which have far fewer overheads, so perhaps in that medium I can still endorse new writers.

VENTRELLA: Has it been successful?

CONSTANTINE: Well, we’ve been around for 10 years this year, so we’re not doing too badly. The downside of it is that it eats into my working day like a pack of starving wolves. That’s another reason I’ve had to downsize the fiction line. I was in the position over the past five years or so where my workload had grown so much editing other people I had no time at all, and no energy, for my own writing. That had to stop. So I started to delegate more, to a fabulous woman, Sharon Sant, who volunteered to do editing for me. We’re publishing her first novel RUNNERS in June. I might not be able to pay a salary to people, but I can help out in other ways.

VENTRELLA: Starting authors often mistakenly think they can do this as well; they self-publish and then go nowhere. What advice do you have for beginning writers concerning getting published?

CONSTANTINE: One of the biggest downsides of everyone being able to self-publish easily, either through ebook or printed copies, is that they can do so without their work ever being looked at by a critical pair of eyes, whether that’s a professional editor or a friend who’s prepared to be honest. Editing is a very different job to writing. Even though I edit my own work to a degree, I still get someone else to do so as well. Writers are too close to their own work. We know everything that’s going on, but the readers don’t, and sometimes we don’t put enough in, or we over-write and things have to be trimmed back. The more people who can read a book before publication, the better. You have more chance of errors being found.

Even though there are now millions more people producing books of some format or another, sadly a lot of it is let down and diminished by the fact the writing itself isn’t up to scratch, and the writers don’t know their craft.

When I ran a creative writing class, I generally had to spend the first term every year teaching the students how to write. They knew nothing of grammar, syntax, spelling, punctuation or narrative structure, (the writer’s essential tool box), not to mention how to create credible characters, a compelling plot and realistic dialogue. They just had an idea they wanted to write stories or a novel, and didn’t even think it involved any particular skills other than the storytelling urge. From what I’ve seen there is a hell of lot of new writers actually publishing works with all of those aforementioned aspects being of poor quality.

So, first advice – hone your writing skills, learn your craft, share your work with other writers to get constructive criticism. Your Mom saying, ‘yes, that’s very nice, dear’, is no use to a writer. You want and need people to tear your work apart really. You don’t have to agree with every criticism, and might choose to ignore some of it, but without this flow and exchange you’re at a disadvantage. You owe your work your best shot, and that means using the tools at your disposal to make that work as good as it can be.

Also, it’s now absolutely essential for new writers to self-promote and use the Internet and social media to their full advantage to get word about and create a buzz.

VENTRELLA: Some writers tend to avoid controversy, but that doesn’t seem to stand in your way. Have you ever avoided an idea because you thought your readers (or editors) wouldn’t accept it?

CONSTANTINE: Not so far, that I can think of!

VENTRELLA: To the other extreme, have you ever specifically written in order to make a point about religion, politics, sexual orientation and so on, or do these things just flow from the plots?

CONSTANTINE: I think a writer’s political and religious beliefs tend to permeate their work naturally. I haven’t gone out of my way to pontificate about these things, but I don’t think any reader of my work would be in doubt about where my political and spiritual beliefs lie.

VENTRELLA: Do you think fantasy/science fiction settings allow you to tackle these issues in a way you could not otherwise?

CONSTANTINE: These genres give writers marvelous freedom to tackle issues it might be more difficult, or even risky, to tackle in a mainstream novel. Science fiction has long been used to criticize political regimes under the guise of fiction. I can’t help thinking that writers who have run into trouble over what they’ve written wouldn’t have done so if they’d set their stories in a fantasy world. It’s liberating; you can say what you like really.

VENTRELLA: How much of your own personal religious beliefs are reflected in your work?

CONSTANTINE: I am a spiritual person but not a religious person, but I do possess Pagan leanings. And yes this is reflected in my work.

VENTRELLA: What book do you advise for the starting Constantine reader and why?

CONSTANTINE: When I discover a new writer to read, I like to start at the beginning of their works if possible, but other people might feel differently. I don’t think it matters, other than it’s perhaps not the best idea to start with the second or third volume of a trilogy! I do have a number of short story collections published through Immanion Press, which can also give people a taster of my style.

VENTRELLA: The Wareththu series is probably your most famous. Do you plan on continuing to expand it?

CONSTANTINE: I think I’ll always return to it, but as I’ve concentrated on it exclusively for quite a time now, I want to explore something different for a while. I’ll continue to produce the Wraeththu story anthologies to keep my hand in. These are published roughly annually (or I hope them to be) and include stories by other writers as well as a couple by me. The first was ‘Paragenesis’, and the recently published ‘Para Imminence’. Both are available through Immanion Press, and I’m just mulling over ideas for the theme for the next one. Paragenesis explored the start of Wraeththu, and Para Imminence its far future. Anyone interested in contributing, please do get in touch via editorial@immanion-press.com

On top of the anthologies, I’ll continue to publish novels set in the Wraeththu world but written by others. A thriving online community of fan fiction writers helped keep Wraeththu alive during the years (fifteen of them) when I couldn’t sell any more Wraeththu novels to publishers. I began to publish the best of these writers, and again am always on the lookout for new ones. If anyone is interested, get in touch at the aforementioned address.

VENTRELLA: Do you think that there are things women can write about that just can’t be done by men writers?

CONSTANTINE: Not really, but perhaps it’s fair to say they might be able to write about certain aspects of life more convincingly than a man.

VENTRELLA: Are you someone who outlines heavily or are you a “pantser”?

CONSTANTINE: Not quite sure what a pantser is, but I don’t outline that heavily. I feel that stories are organic entities that tend to create themselves as they emerge. Publishers always used to demand huge outlines from me, which I found a pain to do, and quite frankly the finished books rarely had much resemblance to their synopses. Once a story is written down, then it’s time to go back and work on fine-tuning the plots, locations and characters. I can’t put all that in a synopsis. The story has to come out first.

VENTRELLA: Do you start with an idea, a setting, or a character?

CONSTANTINE: It can be any of those, just a spark of an idea, a smell, an impression, an emotion.

VENTRELLA: All writers are told to “write what you know.” What sort of research do you do before writing?

CONSTANTINE: I think it’s important to get your facts right. I often see movies about the 70s and see so many anachronisms in them. That’s why I write fantasy instead of historical novels. You have far more freedom in a fantasy novel about, say, what people might have on their breakfast tables. You don’t want to find Pop Tarts on a Victorian table in a novel, do you? But you do see that kind of thing. I really admire historical novelists; the amount of research and checking they must have to do is phenomenal.

For myself, I research aspects that apply across universes and realities. For example, I have an idea to write a fantasy novel that heavily involves the weather – so I bought some books for research on that.

VENTRELLA: What techniques do you use to make your protagonist someone with whom the reader can relate?

CONSTANTINE: I think it’s important to observe in reality how people speak, how they use their bodies and faces to communicate, how much a silence says. No one really speaks in formal dialogue like an updated Shakespeare play. Of course, it would be really irritating to have characters in a story talking completely realistically, so you have to impose some boundaries and restrictions, but it’s important to have an ‘ear’ for realistic speech.

Giving your characters credible behavior makes them believable, and people will relate to them more effectively. One thing I always tried to stop my students doing was using fiction clichés, such as people screaming or dropping a teacup/glass/plate in shock. When people are really frightened, I think most are more likely to swear beneath their breath, or not make a sound, than scream like someone in an old horror film. And have you ever seen someone drop something they were holding in shock? I haven’t. Also, things like collapsing/fainting. I don’t see that happen much either. Screaming might have its place, but the dropped tea cup and maidenly collapse really have to go!

VENTRELLA: What do you do to establish a believable fantasy world? In other words, how can you introduce the fantasy elements into the story and make them real without relying on info dumps?

CONSTANTINE: It’s just a case of being aware of it, and not dumping too much at once. A great amount of detail can be introduced with subtlety, such as in the ‘stage directions’ you might use for characters during lengthy dialogue. What are they doing as they’re talking? What are they picking up, leaning on, looking at, avoiding, etc etc.

VENTRELLA: When going through second and third drafts, what do you look for? What is your main goal?

CONSTANTINE: Pretty much all of the things I’ve talked about throughout the interview. Plot holes, realistic characters and situations, grammatical/syntactical errors, spelling, compelling dialogue and so on.

VENTRELLA: What criticism of your work do you disagree with the most?

CONSTANTINE: I had this one reviewer, who used to go out of his way to review my books, who absolutely hated my work. He obviously got his jollies by being able to slag me off once a year. I disagreed with his observations because they were subjective and just plain offensive. Clearly, he wasn’t comfortable with many of the subjects I include in my work.

I don’t expect everyone to like what I write – that would be an unrealistic expectation. And everyone is entitled to their opinion. A lot of people love writers I absolutely despise, but I don’t believe I am right and the others are wrong. It’s just down to taste.

VENTRELLA: All writers basically write what they would like to read. So what do you like to read? Who are your favorite authors?

CONSTANTINE: My favourite authors are Tanith Lee, Alice Hoffman, Jack Vance, P G Wodehouse, Jonathan Carroll, to name but a few. I have just about everything the first three on that list have ever written.

VENTRELLA: What advice would you give an aspiring author that you wish someone had given you?

CONSTANTINE: Don’t expect to be rich. Let go of any attachment to outcome, and simply write because you love to do so. Write what you love, because your heart will show, and other people will be more likely to love it too.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to talk with you about my work.

Anyway, here are the panels where you can find me (and more may be added):

Books without Borders: (Friday 5 pm) Authors will talk about the various ways of publishing that are out there today. It is a brave new world for the publishing world. But which one is right for the beginning writer? And which one should an author with publishing credits under his/her belt decide is the best choice for them? With Kevin J. Anderson, Betty Cross, Laurel Anne Hill, and Rebecca Moesta.

Opening Ceremonies: (Friday 7 pm) Wherein all the guests are introduced. (To see the complete guest list, click here!)

Big Brother is Watching (Maybe): (Friday 8 pm) Cell Phones, Tablets, PCs, Laptops, Digital TVs … Panelists will discuss how today’s technologies might, or might not, be what 1984 warned us about. With Debra Killeen, Jim Bernheimer and Patrick Vanner.

The Eye of Argon: (Friday Midnight) The worst science fiction story ever written gets a reading by our brave panel as they compete to go the longest without tripping over a misspelled word or laughing uncontrollably. Audience members are also encouraged to take a chance. Can you keep a straight face? With CJ Henderson, KT Pinto and Peter Prellwitz.

The Business of Game Design: (Saturday 1 pm) You have a great idea for a new game. Now what? Our experts tell you how to turn your idea into a workable game, produce it, and market it. With Rob Balder, Robert E. Waters, and Joan Wendland.

Writing Up Close and Personal: (Sunday 10 am) This panel will cover point-of-view choices and how to ”write close” to your point-of-view characters. With Laurel Anne Hill, Patrick Vanner, and Leona Wisoker.

Balancing Your Writing With the Rest of Your Life: (Sunday Noon) How to be a part time writer when you’ve got a full time family/life/job. With Tera Fulbright, Michael Hanson, Tally Johnson, Monica Mariner, and Janine Spendlove.

MICHAEL A. VENTRELLA: I’m pleased to be interviewing one of my favorite writers, Robert J. Sawyer! Mr. Sawyer has won 51 awards for his fiction, including the Hugo and the Nebula, and the top science-fiction awards in Canada, China, France, Japan, and Spain, plus an Arthur Ellis Award from the Crime Writers of Canada. The ABC TV series “Flashforward” was based on his novel of the same name. His physical home is in Toronto, and his online home is here!

The big news is that your 22nd novel RED PLANET BLUES has just been released. It’s a detective novel set on Mars done in the noir style, first person and everything. What made you want to write this?

ROBERT J. SAWYER: It’s become increasingly hard to tell traditional detective stories set in the present day. Everyone knows about CSI-style forensics: it’s almost impossible for a killer not to leave behind fingerprints or DNA. And our public and private spaces are increasingly covered by surveillance cameras; there’s almost no room left —- on Earth anyway —- for the traditional whodunit. But RED PLANET BLUES is set on a lawless frontier Mars -— where the security cameras have been smashed —- and it involves a technology that lets people transfer their consciousnesses into gorgeous android bodies, which don’t have fingerprints and don’t shed DNA. But who is actually inside any given body is anyone’s guess, letting me tell a good-old fashioned mystery … out on the final frontier.

VENTRELLA: From the opening chapters, it almost feels as a mixture of various pulp fiction styles. Was that the desire?

SAWYER: Absolutely. “Pulp” shouldn’t be thought of as a dirty word. Two of the most successful commercial fiction genres today are science fiction and mystery, and both have their roots in pulp magazines of the 1920s through 1950s. It seemed natural to bring those two genres together in that particular voice.

VENTRELLA: Was it difficult trying to capture that style of writing?

SAWYER: It was, but it was also very rewarding. I immersed myself in noir mystery fiction to get the voice right, and Raymond Chandler, one of the fathers of that genre, wrote a very helpful essay entitled “The Simple Art of Murder” in 1950, which he gives lots of advice on how to write that form.

VENTRELLA: In some ways, a good science fiction novel is like a good mystery, although usually the “mystery” involves scientific discovery, doesn’t it?

SAWYER: Yes, indeed. I’ve always felt that science fiction has much more in common with mystery than with fantasy, anyway. Science fiction, after all, is about things that plausibly might happen; fantasy is about things that never could happen —- in that sense, they’re antithetical genres. But science fiction and mystery both prize rational thought, and both ask the reader to carefully pick up the clues the author has salted into the text —- in mystery, of course, to solve the crime, and in science fiction to puzzle out the unfamiliar backdrop against which the story is being told.

VENTRELLA: How did you approach writing a more traditional mystery? Did it require more outlining and preparation, for instance?

SAWYER: Absolutely. Mystery is a very complex narrative form – every piece has to fit together, and in the end it all has to go snick-snick-snick at it falls into place. That requires a lot of planning.

VENTRELLA: This seems like it was a fun novel to write. What novel gave you the most writing pleasure?

SAWYER: I think I enjoyed writing CALCULATING GOD the most; it was an absolute joy to write, in part because it was in a way an alternative version of my own life: I’d originally hoped to become a dinosaur specialist at Toronto’s Royal Ontario Museum, just like Tom Jericho, the main character in that novel.

VENTRELLA: Looking back, do you have a favorite novel (or series)?

SAWYER: My favorite series of mine is the WWW trilogy of WAKE, WATCH, and WONDER, about the World Wide Web gaining consciousness. I loved the range of characters I got to write: blind teenage math genius Caitlin Decter, her autistic father Malcolm Decter, the chimpanzee-bonobo hybrid Hobo, and Webmind itself, the vast world-spanning intelligence.

VENTRELLA: Which of your characters was the hardest for you to create?

SAWYER: Alex Lomax, the protagonist of RED PLANET BLUES because he’s so unlike me. He’s violent, coarse, hard-drinking, uneducated, and a loner; I’m a pacifist, I try to be kind, I don’t drink, I went to university, and I’m gregarious. But for RED PLANET BLUES to work as hardboiled detective fiction, Alex had to have the traits I gave him.

VENTRELLA: What book has surprised you the most upon completion?

SAWYER: TRIGGERS, which has just come out in paperback in North America after a successful run in hardcover. It was unlike any book I’d ever written before -– an out-and-out page-turner thriller. I found it very challenging, but ultimately very rewarding, to write.

VENTRELLA: A common theme in your books involves science versus religion. How do you try to approach that issue without possibly alienating certain readers (or does that come into play at all)?

SAWYER: As a writer, your job isn’t to be blandly acceptable to everyone; it’s to be the favorite author of a narrow segment of the reading public. If I wasn’t alienating some people, I wouldn’t be doing my job. My editor at Tor, David G. Hartwell, used to say to me sometimes, “You know you’re going to lose some readers if you keep that bit in,” and I’d say, “Yes, I understand that,” and we’d both nod and move on. I’m interested in being provocative and in getting people to think about things they perhaps haven’t pondered for years.

VENTRELLA: Here in the US, it seems that religion has trumped science much more than in Canada or Europe, especially in our political fights over creationism in the schools, abortion, and gay rights. Do you think we will ever evolve past religious belief, or will we still be believing a thousand years from now?

SAWYER: I think if we don’t evolve past fundamentalist religious belief, we won’t be here a thousand years from now; it’s fundamentalism that will lead to the wide-scale terrorism at home and abroad. As technology advances, and more and more destructive power is in the hands of individuals, someone will destroy us all, unless we as a species grow up. I tried to portray what that grown-up society might be like in my Hugo Award-winning HOMINIDS and its sequels.

VENTRELLA: Memory – or maybe “consciousness” – seems to be another thread common in your books. Who we are and what we perceive. Do you find that subject comes up subconsciously in your work or do you generally plan stories around that particular theme?

SAWYER: I’ve said that science fiction is the genre of intriguing juxtapositions, and that being a science-fiction writer is the best job for a science generalists – someone who likes to be involved with multiple disciplines. Well, there’s no more multidisciplinary area than consciousness studies, in which neuroscientists, computer scientists, cognitive theorists, quantum physicists, and philosophers all come together and spark off each other. Inner space is far more interesting to me than outer space, and so that’s what I write about.

VENTRELLA: I just finished FLASH FORWARD and noted how it ended with an idea that you later used for ROLLBACK. Had you considered making ROLLBACK a sequel originally, or did you just want to write about immortality in a similar way?

SAWYER: I don’t like sequels. FLASHFORWARD and ROLLBACK both involve radical life prolongation because those are inevitable technologies; it’s going to happen, and if you’re writing about the future you have to acknowledge that. But the two books are unrelated to each other.

VENTRELLA: You’ve written about immortality in various ways in more than one novel. Is this because you’d like to be immortal? Is there something special about the topic that interests you?

SAWYER: What interests me about it is not dying. Sure, I’d like to live a very long time – I’m 52, and haven’t read 1% of the books I’d like to, I haven’t seen even a quarter of this planet (and I travel a lot), there is, rounded to the nearest percent, 100% of the human race I haven’t yet met. More: we still are trying to work out fundamental problems in social interaction, social justice, and international relations -– we’ve been struggling with them for thousands of years. Maybe that’s because, in all those millennia, no problem has ever been worked on for more than a few decades by any one person. We need the time to dig in and solve the really big conundrums; nature’s natural lifespan doesn’t provide enough time -– but science will.

VENTRELLA: How much input did you have in the “Flash Forward” TV series?

SAWYER: Lots. I met with David Goyer and Brannon Braga before I did the deal to let them adapt my book, and we discussed every change they wanted to make. I was consultant on every episode, spent a lot of time on the set and in the writers’ room in Los Angeles, and wrote the 19th episode, “Course Correction.”

VENTRELLA: Do you feel that the action bits they added were necessary for a TV audience and an on-going series? Did they distract too much from the story?

SAWYER: Sure, they were necessary for the TV audience. That’s why we added them. A novel can be cerebral -– people talking about ideas, or thinking about them without doing or saying anything -– but TV is a visual medium: things have to be happening constantly on screen or viewers turn away. As for distraction from the story, not at all: we had more story beats, more continuing characters, and a more involved plot, than just about any other show on the air at that time.

VENTRELLA: You’ve certainly had other works optioned before. Is there anything in the pipeline we can look forward to?

SAWYER: It looks like the movie version of THE TERMINAL EXPERIMENT is finally going to happen, and I’ve just been commissioned to write a screenplay adaptation of TRIGGERS for a feature film, and I have high hopes of that being made, too.

VENTRELLA: What is it about science fiction that attracts you?

SAWYER: The variety: I can write hardboiled detective fiction (RED PLANET BLUES), courtroom drama (ILLEGAL ALIEN), romance (ROLLBACK), thriller (TRIGGERS), allegory (FAR-SEER), and more, all without leaving the genre. Science fiction is the least-restrictive genre to be working in.

VENTRELLA: Science fiction doesn’t seem to sell as much as before; do you think we’ve just become so used to our gadgets and modern technology that reading about spaceships doesn’t hold the wonder it did when we were kids? (I’m about your age, by the way…)

SAWYER: No, I think it’s something you alluded to earlier: if you don’t teach the core truths about science –- cosmology, evolutionary biology, and so forth -– people lose interest in what the Canadian poet Archibald Lampman called “the wide awe and wonder of the night.” Yes, there’s not much science fiction about spaceships, but that never was what science fiction was all about. But it is about science, and a culture that devalues or distrusts science isn’t one that’s going to embrace a literature that’s built on it.

VENTRELLA: Who do you like to read?

SAWYER: Most of my reading is nonfiction -– Robert Wright, Steven Pinker, Ray Kurzweil, and so on. But within the science-fiction genre, I love the works of Julie E. Czerneda, Jack McDevitt, and Robert Charles Wilson.

Dig in. Hold on. (Saturday 12:00 PM): Great stories raise the stakes, often creating drama by pitting the hero against overwhelming odds. What is it about the hopeless battle that so strongly appeals to readers of SF/F? What are some or our favorite struggles in the genre? With Myke Cole, Neal Levin, Gail Z. Martin, and Ian Randal Strock.

Less Shitty Second Drafts. (Saturday 1:00 PM): Giving yourself permission to let your first draft suck as long as you get it out rests on the assumption that you can make it better later. But how? Beyond “kill your darlings” and critique groups, how do authors figure out what’s not working in their manuscript and what might be likely to fix it? With Russ Colchamiro, Laura Anne Gilman, C.E. Lawrence, and Lawrence M. Schoen.

When the Magic Comes Back. (Sat 2:00 PM): From Queen City Jazz to Bordertown to Tinker to The City, Not Long After, magic coming back to our mundane world is one of the few ways we see fantasy set in the future. Why is it so often associated with apocalyspe? Do authors just not want to have to write about science and technology trying to come to grips with magic and vice versa, or is something more fundamental going on? With Myke Cole, Laura Anne Gilman, Carole Ann Moleti, and Kate Nepveu.

Michael A. Ventrella Reading. (Saturday 5:00 PM): I will be reading from some of my work and talking to people about my stories.

Who Got This Belief System in my Fiction? (Saturday 6:00 PM): From the Bible to the Singularity, how to base fiction on religious and/or political convictions without alienating those who don’t agree, or those who believe it’s non-fiction. What authors and titles have handled this well? What are the pros and pitfalls of using your own beliefs, others’, or an invented belief system? With Lawrence Kramer, Jane T. Sibley and David Walton.

Larping vs. SCA. (Saturday 7:00 PM) A fight to the death! Just kidding. Seriously, differences and similarities between medieval-themed live action role playing and the Society for Creative Anachronisms. Are either or both for you? With Zorikh Lequidre, Devon Oratz, and James Prego.

The Eye of Argon. (Saturday 11:00 PM) Our panelists read the worst fantasy story ever written, mistakes and all, and if they laugh or read it incorrectly, they are forced to act out the story. Just try not to fall over laughing! With Keith R.A. DeCandido and Hildy Silverman.

Write What You Don’t Know. (Sunday 12:00 PM) Fantasy authors rarely get irate email from dragons saying they got it wrong. How to write characters from places and times that you don’t know but members of your audience do, and why it’s important to get outside your comfort zone. With Ken Altabef, Paul Calhoun, D.L. Carter, and Laura Anne Gilman.

MICHAEL A. VENTRELLA: I’m pleased to be interviewing author J. Richard Jacobs today! J. says he is a country boy turned scientist/engineer/naval architect turned author. He writes science fact, science fiction (usually hard), occasionally horror and fantasy. He’s also the editor of the successful “Twisted Tails” series, the most recent of which has just been released and features a story by Yours Truly. His web page is here.

So tell us about the “Twisted Tails” series!

J. RICHARD JACOBS: Well, first and foremost, The “Twisted Tails” series of anthologies is a demanding thing to get into. The reason for that is simple. I look for quality in every sense for these books. It’s a tough nut to crack for many. In one of them I received 480+ submissions—only twelve were included.

Next, they are eclectic. There is a theme for each, but no genre restrictions are set. As long as the story fits the idea of the theme, I don’t care if it’s Science Fiction, Fantasy, Mystery, Horror (the no gore kind), Paranormal or Mainstream. We’ve had a good run through seven books so far and this new one, TWISTED TAILS VII: IRREVERENCE (the eighth book in the series) is no exception.

VENTRELLA: Wait — it’s the eighth collection and it’s called TWISTED TAILS VII?

Is that a twist?

JACOBS: TWISTED TAILS II was released in two volumes and, though there is a complete edition available, TWISTED TAILS VII is actually the eighth book in the series…. Not a twist, just confusing….

Anyway, the stories have no set word count. There is one major element that must be met, and met well. All of them contain a twist ending (Twisted Tails). It may be subtle or a violent yank on the carpet, but it must be a logical and plausible part of the story line. Not many authors can do that.

All of them are aimed at fun and entertainment. Sometimes the fun is a mite on the dark side, but it’s still fun.

VENTRELLA: The “Twisted Tails” covers all feature dragons – because of Double Dragon Publishing, I assume. Do you think this may mislead people into thinking they’re all high fantasy stories?

JACOBS: Deron Douglas of Double Dragon Publishing and I discussed this in the very beginning as I wanted the books to become a part of the Double Dragon trademark, so to speak. We decided then and there that the way to do that would be for all the covers to feature one or more dragons. The first book, TWISTED TAILS: AN ANTHOLOGY TO PLEASE AND DELIGHT, had two dragons on the ground, a result of flying too close and getting their tails entangled. I think everyone who sees these covers will admit that Deron is quite an artist…!

As for people thinking they’re all High Fantasy, I don’t think that is necessarily true. They are listed with the genres indicated and the overleaf and inside flaps spell it out fairly well. The truth is, most of the books have had at least one Fantasy included in the collection.

VENTRELLA: What kinds of stories will we find in the new book?

JACOBS: Oh, my, now there’s a tough question to answer. Would saying that they’re all great be of any value? I guess not. This edition of the series includes examples of all genres. It drools humor and mystery and fantastic panoramas and shadows and sunshine and darkness and….

All of the authors in this one have gone several extra miles to fill the pages with delightful material that I guarantee will entertain.

VENTRELLA: How do you determine themes for the books?

JACOBS: Oh, boy, that’s a biggie. I have to think long and hard on that before I commit to a theme. Though the process is complicated, the reason is simple. I have developed what could be called a stable of authors, bless’em all, who are highly talented wordsmiths and story spinners. Without them there would be no “Twisted Tails.” You, by the way, are one of them. Oh, you knew that, didn’t you? Okay, so I just gave you a plug on your own blog. I’m not ashamed of that and I am proud to present you in this new one.

Anyway, I have to think about what my authors have produced in the past and how they may handle whatever little germ of a thought I have. After considering that carefully, I can then firm up the idea and name a theme. As an example; this next one in the works has as its theme: Para-Abnormal. I’ll let your imagination deal with that.

VENTRELLA: I also edit a short story collection, and it’s not as easy as it looks. What are the major problems you have had with editing?

JACOBS: Authors. There are a lot of writers in this world—there are very few authors. Now, authors are wonderful in all respects except following instruction about things like format. Also, most authors are atrocious spellers and typists. Typos and spelling errors are a large part of the job. Not so much with grammar, though it rears its ugly head on occasion. I am willing to work with any author to almost any level if they have given me a great story. I’ve even ghostwritten a couple of works for authors who have presented a compelling story.

VENTRELLA: How do you deal with telling authors you have rejected their stories?

JACOBS: That’s simple. I’ve been in this business about 57 years and saying, “What the hell is this? Did you take special classes in school to become this stupid, or does it come naturally?” is easy for me. Okay, okay, I’m really not that cold, but close to it. If someone has presented me with something that shows promise, I will tell them. If they have sent me crap, I’ll tell them that, too, but I try to be diplomatic.

VENTRELLA: What is the biggest mistake made by authors who submit to you?

JACOBS: Hah! Format. Format. Format, and telling me their work is copyrighted and I’d better not do anything with it other than what has been agreed upon. Arrogant newbies.

VENTRELLA: What advice do you have for authors wanting to write short stories?

JACOBS: Short stories are harder to write than novels. You have few words to work with, yet you need to land on the run with fully developed characters and that ain’t easy. Pacing a short is not an easy thing, either. The best advice I can offer for those who would dare write short is, write until your fingers hurt, the words on the screen look like they’re printed backwards and your legs are so numb that you can’t feel your feet. Then, do it some more. Read other short stories by great authors from the dim past to see how they made it work. Then, write some more. When you think you have it wired, begin submitting your work everywhere and see what happens. Oh, and do develop a really thick skin; this business is brutal.

VENTRELLA: Which of your novels have been most successful in your opinion?

JACOBS: That depends upon how you view success, doesn’t it? If you think about sales, you have missed the point, in my opinion. Sales are nice for the wallet and, perhaps, for the ego, but personal satisfaction in what you’ve done is far more important. I have written nothing I would not love to rewrite. After having rewritten it, I would like to rewrite the rewrite. Never satisfied with my work. It could always be better. Having said that, I think SEEDS OF MEMORY has been the most successful in my way of looking at things. It took ten years of writing, head scratching, rewriting, research, more head scratching, more rewriting, putting up with constant interruptions and free advice before it was finished. I just rewrote it…!

VENTRELLA: Tell us about the “Rain” trilogy.

JACOBS: We recently had a meteor come down in Russia. People saw the videos. In short order, they will forget what they have seen and return to an all-is-well-in-the-world life of complacency. The first two books of the Rain Trilogy, STORM CLOUD RISING and MAELSTORM, are aimed at shaking that complacency by the lapels—hard. The third one, still not completed, is more of an adventure dealing with what the world is like after the rain—the hard rain.

VENTRELLA: What makes your fiction unique? In other words, what is it about your stories that makes them stand out against all the other similar stories out there?

JACOBS: Hmm. Well…they’re not similar. At least I hope they’re not. I bring a lot to the table in terms of knowledge of subject and experience in researching things. Believe it or not, you need to know how to look for things. Merely Googling is not the answer and accepting what you find on your first or fifteenth try without cross-referencing is a waste. In my Science Fiction I’m quite at home with details most of the time. I also have many friends who are experts in their fields who have saved me much embarrassment at times. I can tell you this; my work is complex because I know life is complex. I have had many high-powered mentors in the past (no name dropping here) who have seen me through my infancy and I really hope I have done well with what they taught me.

VENTRELLA: What is it about science fiction that attracts you?

JACOBS: Horizons beyond an arm’s length and an infinite playing field for conjecture and speculation. I also like to play with science (real science) and make things work. None of the worlds I create are impossible or improbable, though they may appear to be so sometimes.

VENTRELLA: Science Fiction doesn’t seem to be selling as much as fantasy these days, including urban fantasy and all the varieties. Why do you think that is?

JACOBS: I have no idea. Science Fiction has never been one of the mainstays of the written word. It has had a better following in the past, that’s true, but why it has hit a little slump is a mystery. I look forward to that changing. We’re getting a lot of imaginative authors in the field these days and I’m sure the Phoenix shall rise again.

VENTRELLA: You’ve also written nonfiction (including something in INSIDE SCOOP which also features me!). What is different about writing nonfiction?

JACOBS: The difference is that it is not fiction.

VENTRELLA: What other projects are you working on?

JACOBS: Aside from the new one for the Twisted Tails series, TWISTED TAILS VIII, I have three anthologies I’m considering that will not be an unending series. All will be based in pulp fiction style. One will be Science Fiction, another in Mystery, and the final will be on Heroes (super-hero stuff with a twist). I am working on another novel, MT PROMISE, and am desperately trying to complete the third book in the Rain Trilogy.

VENTRELLA: What’s your biggest pet peeve about the writing business?

JACOBS: Small checks….

VENTRELLA: I’ve blogged a lot about self-publishing. What’s your take?

JACOBS: Frankly, I don’t like self-publishing. I know there is a bundle of good stuff written and self-published, but the majority is not worth the electrons and/or paper used to put it on the market. Self-publishing still has a stigma hanging on it (with good reason) that makes me not want to read anything offered. I am aware I’m missing a plethora of good, engaging and imaginative works that are well-written, but I’m avoiding an immense amount of disappointment and saving my bucks in the process.

VENTRELLA: Who do you like to read?

JACOBS: Everyone. No, I’m not kidding. I am selective in the things I’ll pick up, but I read across the board. All genres. Short. Medium. Long. Even Michener behemoths. My favorites remain Asimov, Sturgeon, Brin, Clarke, Brown, Dick, Shakespeare (really), Poe, Hemingway and so on. Those folks knew how to do it and do it right.

To order TWISTED TAILS, click on the “books” link above. As of this posting, the only versions available are the kindle and e-book versions. The paperback and the nook versions should be available shortly.