Three Time Travelers Walk Into … Guidelines for Submissions

Take any three famous people from history, toss them together, and have an adventure.

How they got together is up to you – you could do an origin story of how they first met or you could write the story as if they had been adventuring for years. You can use a time machine or a rip in space/time or quantum magic or whatever. You could have some sort of universal translator or you can have the language barrier be part of your plotline.

And these three people should be really separate if possible, from different cultures and times. That’s part of the fun…

I’m now accepting story submissions for this upcoming anthology. You’ll be in great company, with New York Times Bestselling authors and multiple award-winning authors like David Gerrold, Jonathan Maberry, Peter David, Allen Steele, Lawrence Watt-Evans, Adam-Troy Castro, Jody Lynn Nye, Gail Z. Martin, Keith DeCandido, James Moore, and L. Penelope!

Below are the guidelines for submission and some advice. Not following either greatly reduces your chance of acceptance. Follow the guidelines!

(The actual cover will look different)

STORY LENGTH AND PAYMENT: Try to keep your story at around 4000 words. This should be sufficient for what should most likely be a somewhat humorous tale. Take as many words as you need to make a great story, but if it is too long, it had better be so great that we can’t refuse it. We will pay 5 cents a word with a top limit of 5000 words. If you absolutely have to go over that limit, it won’t disqualify you but understand that we won’t pay extra. A good but padded story may get rejected over a concise, fast-moving one, because we want to fit in as many stories as possible.

No reprints. And only one submission. If you have two stories, send your best.

FORMAT: Standard submission format. Times New Roman, 12 point, double spaced. Your name, email, and word count at the top of the first page.  RTF format only, please.

Please include a short bio at the end in the same document. List previous publications or relevant experience in the bio. Don’t worry if you’ve never been published before. I have no problem accepting stories from first-time authors — but won’t overlook bad writing or spelling and grammar mistakes simply because you’re new at this. You’ll be held to the same standards as our professional writers.

DEADLINES:  The stories are due by Thursday, December 9th.  If you don’t get a response from me acknowledging receipt within a few days after you submit, please contact me to make sure it didn’t get lost in the internet somewhere.

My personal deadline for responding to everyone is January 6th. If you haven’t heard from me by that day, you can assume your story was rejected, but I will do everything I can to respond to everyone.

RIGHTS: First English Language Rights, with a 12-month exclusivity period (except for “Best Of” collections).

STORY IDEAS: As far as who to choose for your story: I’m looking for real people or people who are so ingrained in mythology that they could be real (Robin Hood, King Arthur, Mulan, etc.). Obviously, do not use any copyrighted characters or clearly fictional characters even if they are in the public domain (no Sherlock Holmes or Oliver Twist). If you are unsure, feel free to email me beforehand.

NOTE: Do not email me with a query like “I’m thinking of using X, Y, and Z. Would you be interested?” The answer is always “I don’t know; write the story first.” After all, the best idea in the world can fail if it’s poorly written. Only email me if you are unsure about whether a character you want to use fits my criteria.

Also, you should probably use fairly well-known people from history, because that’s what’s going to attract reader attention. Choosing three obscure people might hurt your chances of acceptance BUT what really matters is how good your story is. I don’t want to limit you or scare you away from a great story simply because you’re using three relatively unknown painters from different eras, for instance.

I have already received way too many stories with certain characters (Tesla, Einstein, H.G. Welles, Twain, Houdini) so please avoid these. Remember, your first idea has probably already been someone else’s first idea.

GENERAL ADVICE: Make sure there’s a story there. Often, I receive submissions that have a great concept but there’s no story underneath. The great concept is just the start of your story

Below is a recent zoom chat I had with editors Keith DeCandido and Randee Dawn, discussing how to submit to a themed anthology, what editors are looking for, and what will get you rejected quickly. (No, you don’t have to watch this if you don’t want to. There are no secret passwords or “cheat codes” in this chat.)

REJECTION LETTERS: I hate sending out rejection letters, having been at the receiving end of them myself, but that is part of the business. Please understand that if I reject your story, it doesn’t necessarily mean it is a bad story. In every single anthology I’ve edited, I’ve had to reject stories I like simply because I don’t have enough room. Or perhaps I have more than one story with the same characters or themes, and I can only choose one. And sometimes it’s just a matter of taste. A story I don’t like could be loved by a different editor. (It might help if you have read some of the anthologies I’ve edited before or even my own novels to get an idea of the kinds of stories I like.)

PUBLISHER:  This will be published by Fantastic Books with publisher Ian Randal Strock. Ian has published my last two anthologies (Release the Virgins and Across the Universe, with Randee Dawn). Virgins was very successful, and Across the Universe received excellent reviews from Publishers Weekly, the Library Journal, Asimov’s and Analog. (Details about those books can be found here)

SUBMISSION EMAIL: Send your submission to and please put “Time travelers submission” in the subject line.

Time Travelers Kickstarter Update

As I write this (September 4th) we’re about 60% of the way through our kickstarter campaign for the next anthology THREE TIME TRAVELERS WALK INTO… and about 60% funded.

We had a great chat at the ConTinual Facebook page a few days ago with some of the writers who will be contributing to the anthology. Check it out! You can hear from best selling authors and award-winners David Gerrold, Jonathan Maberry, Jody Lynn Nye, Gail Z. Martin, and Leslye Penelope, along with me and publisher Ian Randal Strock. The writers discuss the stories they’re interested in writing and we all talk about time travel and why it’s so fun.

Also: Aspiring authors — yes, I’ll be looking for more stories to fill this book, but that will be moot if we don’t reach our goal. So please send your pledge to the kickstarter!

A picture from the chat. Click below for the video

Three Time Travelers Walk Into…

My new anthology! Take three random people from any time in history, get them together somehow, and give them an adventure! Three Time Travelers Walk Into…

Look who will be writing stories for this! Jonathan Maberry, Peter David, Allen Steele, Lawrence Watt-Evans, Adam-Troy Castro, Jody Lynn Nye, Gail Z. Martin, Keith DeCandido, James Moore, and L. Penelope!

As usual, there are bonuses you can get! You can pay extra and get one of the authors to name a character after you, for instance! Check out the pledges.

This is a kickstarter campaign with my publisher Fantastic Books, who previously published my anthologies Release the Virgins and Across the Universe (co-edited with Randee Dawn). In order to fund the book (and pay the authors) we ask you to contribute and pre-order your book. Don’t worry — If we don’t reach our goal, you won’t be charged.

Once we’re funded, we’ll be opening up the book for submissions, so for all you writers out there: I’ll be looking for stories! We’ll also be hiring a professional artist to do a great cover.

So please come join us!

The Top Ten Animated Feature Films

Some of you may be aware that in the 1980s, I founded a magazine dedicated to animated films. Animato! became quite a success, and after I sold the rights, it grew even more!

Announcing a new book I’m working on: The Animated Features Top Ten List.

I’m looking for professionals in the animation field to share their list of Top Ten Favorite Animated Features and tell why. We’ll print them all and then do a summary at the end as to which films got the most votes.

Please tell any friends in the animation community! Looking for writers, artists, voice actors, directors, animation historians, critics, and fans (although, admittedly, if space is tight, fans will be cut first).

Details are here!

Editors want to discover you

As someone who has edited a number of anthologies — some with some very big famous names — allow me to drop a bit of encouragement your way.

All editors want to discover you.

Don’t worry if you’ve never been published before. Don’t be intimidated by all the Big Names who are already in the anthology. Don’t think you have no chance.

One of the great things about the publishing industry is that often, all that really matters is the quality of your story.

I’ve spoken to many other editors and have been on panels with them at conventions and writing seminars, and we all agree: We all want to brag that we discovered a great new writer. In fact, it’s something we can even use in the book’s promotion. It’s a plus. It’s a bonus. WE LIKE IT.

Many of the anthologies I’ve edited recently were done through kickstarter campaigns, where we get some Big Name Authors to commit to submitting a story, thus guaranteeing we can raise enough money to get the book printed. We then open it up for submissions to fill the rest of the book.

Some new authors think “My God, he’s got David Gerrold and Spider Robinson and Jonathan Maberry! I can’t compete with those best sellers!” — and then they’re too intimidated to submit their story to the anthology.

But the fact is that your story may be great. It may be exactly what the editor wants.

The editor already knows the book will be published. The editor doesn’t need more Big Names and is now looking to make the book as entertaining as possible. And if your story is good enough, the editor won’t care that you have never been published before. In fact, the editor may be thrilled that you have never been published before.

Trust me — some of my favorite stories in the anthologies I’ve edited are not from the Big Names but from the new author who either has never been published before or has only published a few times before.

All that matters is the quality of your story.

So aim high.

(However, a caveat: Don’t forget all the other basic advice when submitting a story. Don’t screw up your chance by ignoring the guidelines, having lots of grammatical and spelling errors, or pissing off the editor in other ways.)

The Four ???? of the Apocalypse

We all know about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Death, War, Famine, and Pestilence, riding on pale horses and all that Book-of-Revelation stuff.

But why does it have to be guys on horses? Why can’t it be the Four Cheerleaders of the Apocalypse? Or the Four Customer Service Reps of the Apocalypse? Or the Four PTA Moms of the Apocalypse? Or the Four Squirrels of the Apocalypse?

A new anthology has just been announced on this concept, and a kickstarter campaign has begun to fund it. Many NY Times Bestselling authors are participating in this fun endeavor.

Among the authors are Jonathan Maberry, David Gerrold, Jody Lynn Nye, Peter David, David Mack, Michael Jan Friedman, Dayton Ward & Kevin Dilmore, Adam-Troy Castro, Keith R.A. DeCandido, Laura Anne Gilman, Robert Greenberger, Aaron Rosenberg, Danielle Ackley-McPhail, Derek Tyler Attico, Kathleen O. David, Randee Dawn, Mary Fan, Gerard Houarner, Gordon Linzner, Megan Mackie, Gail Z. Martin, Jenifer Purcell Rosenberg, Hildy Silverman, Wrenn Simms, Patrick Thomas, and me!

Check it out! There are lots of great benefits for joining the kickstarter. You can get tuckerizations (where the author fits your name into the story), ebooks for a fraction of their cost, signed copies, and more.

My story is called Horseman, Horseman, Horseman & Horseman, Attorneys at Law.

(Actual book cover forthcoming)

“How to Argue the Constitution with a Conservative” audio book now available

I really couldn’t have someone else read my book — it’s just too personal and, let’s face it, parts are definitely written in first person.

So I bought a nice microphone and recorded in my room. The quality may not be as good as I would have liked, but it’s not bad and Amazon said it was good enough for them, so now my Constitution book is available for you to listen to!

This is not my first audio book — the Baker Street Irregulars anthologies (co-edited with NY Times Bestseller Jonathan Maberry) had wonderful actors reading the stories. However, that was all arranged by the publisher and I had no control over it. They did an excellent job!

But this is the first that I got to read my own work. And, if you know me, you know I’m a ham. Give me an audience and I’m happy. I hope I did a good job!

The advantage of this audio book is that you can listen in your car or while jogging or otherwise doing something else. You also have the advantage of an updated copy, since I added a few bits here and there as the law changed (such as discussing Trump’s two impeachments which occurred after the publication of the original book).

The disadvantage of this audio book is that you’ll miss all the great cartoons from Pulitzer-Prize-winning artist Darrin Bell. So clearly, you’ll need to buy a copy as well. (And if you want many of the cartoons in color, you’ll also have to get the ebook version).

Hope you enjoy it! Here’s the link.

When the prose gets in the way of your story

I often find myself yelling at the screen during certain movies and shows. “Just hold the damn camera still, you moron!” Hand-held cameras that jiggle all over the place make me wonder how a director can afford top-notch stars and special effects but not, apparently, a tripod.

On the other hand, I also sometimes find myself going “Wow, that Kubrick camera movement is wonderful. It’s just so beautiful to see.”

And in some ways, both extremes are bad, because instead of paying attention to the story, I’m seeing the process behind the scenes.

The same is true of fiction. “What’s the big deal if there are a few misspellings or grammatical errors?” someone recently asked me. “Isn’t the story more important?”

Well, sure. But if I am thrown out of the story because of the bad spelling or grammar? That’s the last thing any author wants. I want my readers to be lost in the story to the point where you’re not even consciously thinking “Hey, I’m reading a book right now.”

And just like the movies, it can work against you to go too far in the opposite direction. If you’re trying to show off how clever you are by using words that make people run to the dictionary to figure out your meaning, then you’ve lost them. If you’re so enamored with your flowery writing that your readers are spending their time admiring your poetry instead of caring about your characters, then it’s going to be a lot easier for them to put your book down and not pick it back up again.

Mind you, there are plenty of authors who disagree with me on this point. Maybe it’s just because of the type of books I like to read (and write). When I see the zippers on the monster’s costume, I’m no longer scared.

Don’t let them see the zippers.

Interview with author and editor Ira Nayman

Today, I’m pleased to be interviewing Ira Nayman, who has devoted his life to writing humor. As the proprietor of the Alternate Reality News Service (which sends reporters into other universes and has them write articles about what they find there), he has self-published 11 books (with two, or possibly three more coming in 2021). He has had six novels published by Elsewhen Press.

For two and a half years, Ira was also the editor of Amazing Stories magazine. 

MICHAEL A. VENTRELLA: Humor is so subjective, so how do you know you have written something funny that someone else would like to read?

IRA NAYMAN: I actually rarely laugh at my own writing as I am writing it. I often laugh when I first get the idea (because surprise is such an important element of humor, and that is the most likely time that a joke will surprise me). I sometimes laugh when I reread something I have written months later (because surprise is such an important element of – oh, but you already know that, don’t you?).

In some ways, I am a very intellectual humorist. I studied humor as an undergraduate at university and I have read a lot about different theories of why humor works. In addition, I know a large number of comic devices. Because of this (and the fact that I have been doing it for over 50 years), I largely trust my instincts about what will work and what won’t.

Don’t be like me. My advice to people who are starting out on the path to writing humor is two-fold. First: experience a wide variety of humor in as many different media as you can find it. Look at this experience with a critical eye: what makes you laugh, and how does it work? Apply the lessons you get from other practitioners to your own writing. Second: find a couple of people who have a similar sense of humor to yours and whom you trust, and run early drafts of your writing by them. A good reader can really help you hone your craft (and give you confidence that you are on the right track). Third (to, uhh, hide the stain on the second fold – you really should be more careful with my advice!): write as much as you can as often as you can. The more you write, the more quickly you will develop your own unique voice and talent.

VENTRELLA: How has the publishing industry changed for the better and the worse over the years?

NAYMAN: As it happens, my PhD dissertation was on how digital publishing was changing the nature of publishing. This was written in 2000, so some of it may be dated, but I find that most of it is still relevant to today’s publishing ecosystem.

The main advantage to being able to publish online is that anybody can do it. You don’t have to go through the gatekeepers of agents and/or publishers. The main disadvantage to being able to publish online is that anybody can do it. Over a million books are now published every year. How are you going to be able find readers for yours?

New media proponents argued that social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, et al) was going to level the playing field, allowing writers to grow fan bases and readership. This undoubtedly happens, but it has not been my experience. Social media is good at maintaining a writer’s relationship with their existing fan base, but it isn’t usually that great at helping writers find new readers/fans.

One major change in publishing that has been going on for decades is that the major imprints are becoming smaller and smaller cogs in transnational corporate conglomerates. Because of this, they have dropped a lot of mid-list authors to concentrate on blockbusters. In this environment, it is harder (although not impossible) for new writers to be published by a major house; and when they are, if they do not immediately produce financial results, they are quickly dropped (as happened to somebody I know).

On the plus side, Publishing on Demand (POD) has made it possible for small publishers to thrive, so writers have a much larger pool of smaller publishers to approach. It also means that there are far more anthologies being published than ever, which is a good entry for writers of short stories.

VENTRELLA: You were the editor of Amazing Stories, the first all science fiction magazine, for two and a half years. How did that happen?

I’m always looking for ways to promote my work. I forget how, but one day I heard of the Amazing Stories web site. I volunteered to write book reviews and the occasional opinion piece for them, which I did for a year and a half. At that point, the publisher, Steve Davidson, told me that his wife had been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness and that he had to take some time away from the web site; he asked if I would be willing to edit the web site in his absence. I agreed, with one condition: if he ever revived the print magazine (which he had talked about doing every now and again), I would like to have an editorial position.

I worked on the web site for another year and a half, at which point Steve announced that he was ready to start the magazine and asked me to be editor. I was a bit surprised: he had talked about some pretty heavy hitters for the position, and I thought I would be working under one of them. However, I’m not one to run away from a challenge, so I said yes.

And I’m so glad I did. It was a challenge, at times, as any major undertaking will be. However, it was an immensely satisfying experience, and I am very proud of the magazine (not to mention side-projects like Amazing Selects and AmazingCon) of what Steve, Kermit Woodall (the art director) and all of the contributors were accomplished.

VENTRELLA: What does a magazine editor look for? What are ways to impress an editor? What are ways to not impress an editor?

One of the things I learned about editing is that every magazine takes on the character of the person who decides which stories will go into it (usually the editor, but sometimes the publisher). For this reason, it’s hard to generalize about what editors are looking for. The best thing a writer can do (and most guidelines pages recommend this) is to read an issue or two of the magazine, and deduce what the editor is looking for from what the editor has previously accepted. (I was never shy about saying that I was looking for what I look for in my pleasure reading, and what I hope I write: surprise and delight. Or, put a different way, stories should be original and fun.)

The best way to impress an editor is to follow the guidelines. If the guidelines say that the editor wants stories in 24 point Palatino (yes, it is a typeface – don’t argue: I used to read font books for fun), submit the story in 24 point Palatino. Yes, it is weird. Yes, it means more work for you (if you have to submit a story to a dozen different publications until it is sold, accept the fact that you may have to format it a dozen different ways; it comes with the job).

How to not impress an editor? Need I say it? In the Amazing Stories guidelines, we wrote at least three times that we used an anonymous reader system and that manuscripts should be submitted with nothing that would identify the author. Roughly one quarter of the submissions had identifying information on them. They were immediately rejected without being read. Do I really need to tell you how not to impress an editor? Really? (We weren’t that hardass about it. Writers could resubmit stories that had been anonymized; I would then assign them to a different reader. My thinking was that I didn’t want to risk missing a great story because of an easily fixed technical matter. However, not all editors are so easygoing.)

There are many ways to alienate editors, but I will limit myself to one more: never argue with a rejection. In my time as editor of Amazing Stories, only one person responded to a rejection with: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. This was a great story! You’re an idiot with terrible taste who is going to be sorry he passed by this great opportunity!” That was one person too many. You cannot win an argument with an editor who has rejected your story; all you can do is ensure that that editor will never want to work with you. Ever. As hard as it may be, the best thing you can do is suck it up and submit the story somewhere else.

VENTRELLA: You are currently working on a Kickstarter campaign. Can you tell us a little bit about the project, and how crowdfunding platforms like it have changed the business?

NAYMAN: It is for an anthology called Shapers of Worlds. Canadian speculative fiction writer Ed Willett runs a podcast called The Worldshapers, where he interviews SF writers. Last year, he produced an anthology of short stories written by people he had interviewed in the first year of the podcast. The Kickstarter is intended to raise funds for a second volume, which will feature authors he interviewed in the second year of the podcast. I was one of those authors, so I am scheduled to have a story in the volume.

If it funds, Shapers of Worlds Volume II will feature new fiction from Kelley Armstrong, Marie Brennan, Helen Dale, Candas Jane Dorsey, Lisa Foiles, Susan Forest, James Alan Gardner, Matthew Hughes, Heli Kennedy, Lisa Kessler, Adria Laycraft, Ira Nayman, Garth Nix, Tim Pratt, Edward Savio, Bryan Thomas Schmidt, Jeremy Szal, and Edward Willett, plus stories by Jeffrey A. Carver, Barbara Hambly, Nancy Kress, David D. Levine, S.M. Stirling, and Carrie Vaughn. Among those authors are winners and nominees for every major science fiction and fantasy literary award, plus several international bestsellers.

I have had about 20 short stories published, most in anthologies, most of which I am proud to have participated in. But, man, oh, man, that lineup is stellar! And many of the writers have donated books or other things as premiums. Even having been around as long as I have, I’m still stoked to be a part of this project.

But, ah, ahem, I mean, yeah, if your readers would like to, you know, check out the Kickstarter and consider giving a little something to it, that would be cool cool.

As I mentioned earlier, a lot of anthologies are being published these days. Crowdfunding sites like Kickstarter and GoFundMe are an important potential source for funding them. Sites like these and Patreon (which employs a different funding structure) also allow for authors to get paid for self-publishing.

The real people in “Big Stick”

My steampunk novel BIG STICK obviously features Teddy Roosevelt (as seen on the cover, drawn by Hugo-winning “Girl Genius” artist Phil Foglio). But I tried to incorporate many other actual, real people into the book as well. Doing so was tremendously fun. If I needed a doctor for the story, I’d research who could possibly fit that actually existed at the time. I read biographies and articles to try to get their personalities down.

So for those who have read the book and are interested (and for those who haven’t but find this interesting) here are some of the other real people who appear in the novel. Warning: Some minor spoilers ahead.

Mark Twain: Of course, I had to include one of my favorite authors. I don’t think I have to explain who he is. Since the book takes place in 1898 (when Teddy Roosevelt was Commissioner of Police in Manhattan), Twain is quite old. That doesn’t stop him from helping, of course, with his riverboat that turns into a zeppelin. (Hey, it’s a steampunk novel. Zeppelins are required). He also assists in pulling a trick on the bad guys which, well, gets weird.

Harriett Tubman: Tubman was the hero who helped slaves escape to the north with her “underground railroad” before and during the Civil War. Since the book’s publication, she’s been the subject of a mostly-fictional movie about her life and will soon be featured on the $20 bill. In BIG STICK, she is quite old, travels around in a steam-powered wheelchair, runs a secret organization dedicated to fighting injustice, and doesn’t take guff from anybody.

Edward Bouchet: Bouchet was a scientist who was the first African-American to get a doctorate from Yale. After graduating, however, he could not find a job because of racial discrimination and ended up teaching at minor schools and even becoming a High School principal. In BIG STICK, unable to find work, he gets recruited by Tubman’s secret organization as their device expert (sort of like “Q” to James Bond). I probably made him a bit more “mad scientisty” than he actually was…

Anthony Comstock: Comstock was a Christian moralist who headed the New York Society for the Suppression of Vice, which, like all such moralists, he got to define. In BIG STICK, he gives speeches against places he thinks support vice, only to have those places struck by lightning from clear blue skies soon thereafter, making people think he has God on his side. Our heroes are convinced there is a scientific explanation, which leads to the grand adventure…

Eliza Grier: Dr. Grier was one of the first black women to get a medical degree but, like Bouchet, had trouble finding employment afterwards. She ended up as a teacher and died young. In BIG STICK, she is employed by the secret organization and tends to the wounds of our heroes, even when they don’t want it, but she knows her stuff and they deal with her. She’s another tough cookie — you have to be when you try to enter the white man’s world in 1898.

Melville Fuller: Fuller was the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court and was responsible for the terrible decision Plessy v. Ferguson which upheld Jim Crow laws and established “separate but equal” provisions in our laws, making racial segregation completely legal. He was a rabid conservative who struck down many progressive pieces of legislation he didn’t like. As you may guess, in BIG STICK, he’s one of the Bad Guys.

Henry Lowrie: Lowrie was known as a kind of “Robin Hood” figure pre-Civil War, where he would attack, rob, and kill slave owners, leading to what became known as the “Lowrie Wars.” He’s a fascinating character. He was reported to have died in 1872 but many people thought that was just to allow him to go into hiding. In BIG STICK, he’s quite old and serves as Tubman’s personal bodyguard, though he longs to participate in the adventure our heroes are on.

William Stephen Devery: Devery was a corrupt policeman in Manhattan who was fired by Commissioner Teddy Roosevelt, out to clean up the department. In BIG STICK, he sees Roosevelt as his sworn enemy and does everything in his power to bring him down. He gets a job as Comstock’s bodyguard but uses it for nefarious purposes. In real life, he appealed his firing, got rehired, became Chief of Police, and was just as corrupt the second time.

Other real characters are met only briefly or in mention, such as Thomas Edison, President William McKinley, Nikolai Tesla, George Washington Carver, and Grover Cleveland… and then there are a bunch of characters that exist only in my imagination.

If you haven’t read the book (from Eric Flint’s Ring of Fire Press), follow this link to read the first few chapters, check out some reviews, and order your copy.

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