Michael A. Ventrella

FANTASY:

“O Great Wizard, what is that in your hand?”

“This? This is my Wand of Wonder. It shoots lightning!”

“How does it work?”

“Magic!”

STEAMPUNK:

“Professor, what is that in your hand?”

“This? This is my Transmognifying Eludicator. It shoots lightning!”

“How does it work?”

“Science!”

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Three Time Travelers Walk Into… (edited by me) has been sent for reviews and we’re doing final proofreading and cover design. Due out in late June. (Fantastic Books)

The Beatles on the Charts is being proofread as well, and I have a deadline of March 31 to turn it into the publisher. No publication date yet. (McFarland & Company)

The Top Ten Animated Films is behind schedule and on hold because I need more people in animation to respond … so please pass the word. (BearManor Media)

Terin Ostler and the Zombie King (and Other Stories) is at the publisher and is waiting for publication! Next in line is the collection of short stories in that world, Tales of Fortannis, that I am editing, featuring my favorite stories from the five Tales of Fortannis collections that are now out-of-print. (Fantastic Books)

Bully! (the sequel to my Teddy Roosevelt steampunk novel Big Stick) is still being written because I keep doing these other books instead (and, you know, I have a job). (Eric Flint’s Ring of Fire Press)

Another fun anthology project is in the works but I can’t announce it yet.

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My next anthology is coming soon, and today I can announce the Table of Contents:

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I’m currently working on editing my next anthology, THREE TIME TRAVELERS WALK INTO…  

I have stories from some great Big Name authors: David Gerrold, Jonathan Maberry, Jody Lynn Nye, Lawrence Watt-Evans, Peter David, Allen Steele, Adam-Troy Castro, Gail Z. Martin, Keith DeCandido, James Moore, and L. Penelope!

Then I sent out word that I was looking for more stories and received more than 100 submissions for what may only be 5 or 6 spots left in the book.

Some stories made it to my “maybe” folder but clearly there is no way I can put every single story there. I have to narrow down the selection somehow. So some stories were rejected after the first read-through.

That’s how it works. It’s part of the business and you can’t take it personally. I have had stories rejected by friends and I have had to reject friends, and we all understand it.

But not everyone is like that.

Thought you might like to see an example of how not to deal with rejection. This one author did not handle it well, and insulted me by basically saying that clearly, the only reason his magnificent story was rejected was because I was just plain wrong.

All of our email exchanges below are absolutely true. I am not naming the person, but I am certainly telling other editors out there, because no one is going to want to deal with him. He posted nasty comments about this on my Facebook page so he outed himself anyway (in case you feel like searching for it). 

Typos are in the original.

We’ll start with the standard form rejection letter I send out, which he received along with many others.  My emails are in italics.

Dear Fellow Author:

As a writer with my own collection of rejection letters, I am well aware of how disappointing it is to get one.

I hate sending them as much as I hate receiving them.

I’m afraid your story didn’t make the cut.

Sometimes the story is good but the reason I have to reject it is because I already have a story with a similar theme or similar characters. Sometimes it’s because I may have liked your story but saw that it needed some substantive editing, and I would rather pick another good story that did not need it. Sometimes I like the story but I just have too many stories I like and I just can’t accept them all. Sometimes, honestly, it’s just not that well-written.

Some of the stories I have rejected so far are because there just wasn’t a story there. There would be three people from history, and they’d talk, and some stuff happened, but there wasn’t an adventure. There wasn’t a conflict that needed to be resolved. The characters were the same at the end of the story as they were at the start of the story. It may have had an interesting concept, but that was it. The setting is just the start of the story, and isn’t a story itself.

And sometimes it’s just a matter of taste, after all. I literally had way over a hundred submissions for maybe ten spots, so I can be picky. Another editor with the same stories may have made completely different choices.

Thank you again for sending me your story.

What a delightfully thorough brush-off. However, you neglected the most important variable of all: human fallibility. You might want to read Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s The Black Swan with particular attention to the section on Experts and “Empty Suits.”

My, you certainly handle rejection well.  I shall remember that for any future submissions.

Touched a nerve did I?  I would think an attorney woiuld have thicker skin.

heh!  No nerve was touched. I am just happy to know who to avoid in the future, as clearly you would not be a writer that would be accommodating or easy to work with.  Thank you for letting me know.

I am sorry I offended your fragile ego. A little bit of snark and you turn tail and run, Clearly, you are no litigator. Most likely a limp-wristed creature of privilege that leads a sheltered existence. You need to grow a set. And maybe wise up and stop taking the bait I keep dangling in front of you. You take yourself far too seriously for someone who purveys nothing more than empty entertainment. Or am I to believe your stories are life-changing?

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I am currently reading through the slush pile of stories for my next anthology: THREE TIME TRAVELERS WALK INTO…

And I’m noticing a commonality among some of the submissions from unpublished authors. Too many stories are told from the omniscient point of view.

That can work, of course. Dickens used it all the time, as did many authors long ago. Douglas Adams uses it in THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY (one of my favorite novels of all time). But you don’t see it in use hardly at all these days in fiction.

And there’s a reason.

We want to get inside our characters’ heads and we want to know what they’re thinking. A close third-person POV is usually best if you’re not doing a first person story.

But more importantly, when you use the omniscient POV, you are the character. Your voice in the narration becomes the character.

You want a good example? Read Lemony Snicket. It’s wonderful. Or William Goldman’s THE PRINCESS BRIDE. The voice of the narrator has a personality. And, of course, Adams.

Writing in the omniscient voice is very easy, which is why so many inexperienced writers use it. Writing it well is very hard, which is why so many experienced writers do not.

Too often, writers will use that POV and jump around from one characters’ head to another and let us know what they’re thinking (or worse, not let us know when we should) which can reduce tension and suspense. (Tension and suspense, in case you don’t realize, are good things in fiction.)

Part of the reason it doesn’t work as well is because that POV reminds us that we’re reading a story, especially when I get submissions like this: “The story of how these three people met is exciting…” Yeah? According to who? Or “Time Travel works this way…” No, I want a story, not a science lesson. If you have to explain how it works in the story, find a way for a character to explain it, not the narrator.

Sometimes I wonder if the people who submit these kinds of stories read stories themselves. I find that the best way to learn how to write is to read constantly. Advice books are fine, but you need to read novels and short stories to see how it’s done — and then you need to write and write and write until your work can compare.

It’s like reading a book about how basketball works and thinking that therefore you can now play as well as the professionals. No, you need to watch actual games, notice how the players use the ball and interact with each other, and then you need to get on the court and do it yourself, over and over again, until it becomes easy.

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One barbarian tribe has a prophecy saying the legendary hero Bishortu will unite the three warring tribes. Another has a prophecy that directly contradicts this, and they want Bishortu dead. And a third, which may or may not be comprised of werewolves, refuses to let anyone know what their prophecy says. Meanwhile, the Duke on whose land the barbarians live wants them all gone.

In the middle of all of this is squire Terin Ostler, who has been mistakenly identified as the great Bishortu. Under the Duke’s orders to get rid of the barbarians, he heads to their lands without the slightest idea of what to do.

Along the way, he has to avoid assassins, werewolves, lovesick barbarian princesses, and confused goblins, while attempting to figure out the meaning of the magical and mysterious Wretched Axes.

Nobody said being a hero would be easy.

“Terin Ostler and the Axes of Evil” has been reissued from Fantastic Books with a fantastic new cover and a few minor changes. Click here to read reviews or to order your copy! (The ebook versions are coming soon!)

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I’m ready to once again step out to a convention, but it’s because they’re requiring everyone to be vaccinated and wear a mask. It’s Philcon, Philadelphia’s oldest literary convention. It’s in New Jersey.  (Look, it was cheaper, okay?)

I’ve been a guest at Philcon for years, and it’s always great to go back there and see so many of my friends. This year’s event will be on the weekend of November 19-21. Pictures from previous Philcons are below!

Here’s my schedule:

Perils and Pitfalls of Near-Future Scenarios (Friday 6pm): The problem with writing near-future science fiction in our fast-moving time is that often the present overtakes the predictions. What are some cautionary tales, and how do authors deal with this sword of Damocles?  If the storytelling is good enough, will the present catching up to the imagined future matter to readers? With Ian Randal Strock, Jennifer Povey, Margaret Riley, and Joan Wendland

What’s So Funny? (Friday 7 pm): Many authors, including John Scalzi, T. Kingfisher and Rudy Rucker, have written humorous SF. Can a story combine humor and serious speculation? What are the pitfalls? With Randee Dawn, Dina Leacock, Chuck Rothman, and Hildy Silverman

Reading: Michael A. Ventrella (Saturday 12:30 pm): I’ll be reading from one of my books, with the attendees choosing which one

A Beginner’s Guide to Time Travel Paradoxes (Saturday 2 pm): You know not to remove a major historical figure, hand Thomas Edison a cell phone, or kill your grandfather. But is it even possible to travel into the past without changing anything?  So you go back to Chicago in 1920, and eat a hamburger in a diner. But, unbeknownst to you, that hamburger was destined to sit for six hours, spoil, and sicken someone else, who misses an important appointment, and… there goes the timestream. Would nature have a way of correcting this? With John Ashmead, Russell J. Handelman, and George W. Young

Reimagining Babylon 5 (Saturday 4 pm): Babylon 5’s creator J. Michael Straczynski has confirmed that he is writing the pilot for a reboot and will be the showrunner if it is given the green light.  Will his involvement be enough for fans to embrace the new show?  Which storylines from the original could use more time to be fully realized, and which should be allowed a graceful retirement?  Should the reboot be called Babylon 6, or Babylon 5.1? With Matt Black, Lawrence Kramer, Andre Lieven, and Jennifer Povey

From Gaming Into Fiction (Saturday 5 pm): Many current writers grew up playing role-playing games online and in person. Some writers are moving into fiction after writing for interactive games, and others are going back and forth. How are these two approaches influencing each other? How can an author successfully transform their work to succeed in another format? With Eric Avedissian, Stephanie Burke, Keith R.A. DeCandido, and Victoria Rogers

Masquerade  (Saturday 8 pm): The annual cosplay competition! I’ll be hosting the event, so I’m bringing my top hat.

Signing: Michael A. Ventrella (Sunday 11 am): Just in case you didn’t get a chance to see me at the convention otherwise, I’ll be at a table in the main hall where you can bug me.

Post-Colonial Steampunk (Sunday 1 pm): Steampunk’s original DNA is rife with Victorian Imperialism, but some authors are creating steampunk worlds that hint at decolonized alternate-history timelines, including  P. Djèlí Clark’s Master of Djinn, set in a technologically advanced and magically infiltrated Cairo; Nisi Shawl’s Everfair, where a multicultural group in Congo fights for freedom with steampunk innovations; and Maurice Broaddus’s Buffalo Soldier, set in Jamaica and a post-US America.  What other possibilities are available? With Stephanie Burke and Fran Wilde

And now… pictures from previous Philcons! (Click on a picture to enlarge)

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