Interview with author and editor Alex Shvartsman

MICHAEL A. VENTRELLA: Today I’m pleased to be interviewing Alex Shvartsman. Alex is a writer, translator, and anthologist from Brooklyn, NY. Over 120 of his short stories have appeared in Analog, Nature, Strange Horizons, and many other venues. His website is www.alexshvartsman.com. If you’ve read my anthology RELEASE THE VIRGINS, you’ll be familiar with his work!

Alex, how did you get your start in the writing business?

ALEX SHVARTSMAN: I’ve been an avid reader since early childhood, but my family emigrated from Ukraine to the United States when I was a teenager and I never believed my English would be good enough to write books. So I didn’t start until I was well into my thirties. I didn’t know a single writer, or anything about the business side of things, so I decided to just write short stories and see if any magazine will buy them as the means of figuring out whether I could write publishable fiction. I was both surprised and elated when those stories began selling, and I never looked back!

VENTRELLA: You began the “UFO” series to feature humorous science fiction and fantasy stories and it’s been quite successful. Tell us about that. What kinds of stories are you looking for? What advice can you give someone who may want to submit?

SHVARTSMAN: I wanted to create a pro-paying market for humorous SF/F. There’s never enough of it being published, and most other humorous anthologies are themed. UFO was meant to feature all kinds of humor, and to give new writers an opportunity to have their work showcased alongside the genre’s greats. About half of each volume’s contents is purchased through slush and I often publish newer authors, sometimes UFO is even their first-ever sale!

we’re specifically a humor publication, it’s important that your story’s voice stands out. Make me smile and hold my attention with your first couple of paragraphs to get me to keep reading!

VENTRELLA: Your latest novel has received excellent reviews. Tell us about it (and why we want to read it!) What was the inspiration for the story?

SHVARTSMAN: THE MIDDLING AFFLICTION is the first book in the Conradverse Chronicles urban fantasy series. My elevator pitch for these books is “The Dresden Files meets American Gods in Brooklyn” and the story follows Conrad Brent, who is part of an organization that protects the people of NYC from monsters and malevolent magic users, except he has a secret he keeps even from his friends and allies: he has no magic of his own, relying on artifacts and his wits to keep up with the arcane practitioners. To quote my own book, in the world of magical superheroes and supervillains, he’s Batman. Except he has no batcave, billions of dollars, or even a butler.

You can read the first chapter here to see if you might like it.

VENTRELLA: What kinds of readers do you think would be interested in your book?  In other words, whose work do you think your book is comparable to?

SHVARTSMAN: When my first Conrad Brent short stories were published, so many people rushed to make the comparison between him and Harry Dresden, and I often stick to that comparison as shorthand. Except, I’d never read any Jim Butcher when I wrote those stories, and have only read the first Dresden novel since then. Rather, I was inspired by Simon R. Green’s Nightside books and Mike Resnick’s urban fantasy titles. It was a huge honor for me that Simon wrote a cover blurb for The Middling Affliction. I’d like to think that any fans of Green or Resnick would dig my writing as well.

VENTRELLA: One thing writers sometimes fail to understand is how important connections matter in getting into the business. Can you give examples of how that has worked with you?

SHVARTSMAN: When I started out, I had none, so you can absolutely make it without connections if your writing is good. Especially today, when you can submit stories and novels digitally from anywhere in the world. However, I’d be naïve not to recognize that connections matter and can greatly help you. I’ve had editors I met at conventions solicit short stories from me. My current novel series is being published by Caezik SF&F, and I met the publisher and his staff at events and became friends with them there. I’ve been on many panels with my current agent Joshua Bilmes so he knew me and I pitched him an idea at a convention, so I never went through the soul-crushing querying process to land an agent. If you can go to conventions and interact with industry folks in person, do it. But if you can’t, don’t assume the gates are closed to you. I never even met a real-life science fiction writer, let alone editor, until after I’ve had numerous short stories published.

VENTRELLA: We’ve discussed putting humor into fiction before. What is the best way to use humor in a fictional story? And is that the same thing as writing comedy?

SHVARTSMAN: Humor is a great way to release tension, and you can use it in any story or book, not just an outright comedy. Writing comedy is hard, but certainly not impossible. Are you funny in real life? Ever crack a joke that made a bunch of friends you were hanging out with laugh? Steal from yourself! Write this down and have your character (or narrator) use that line! I once wrote a guide for introducing humor into your writing, and although it was written years ago, it’s still valid. Check it out here.

VENTRELLA: Which authors do you think best handle writing humor?

SHVARTSMAN: The easy answer is, just look at the table of contents of any UFO volume! I try to get the really funny writers into my anthologies, though it’s not always possible. Some of the funniest authors I’d love to include in UFO someday are John Scalzi, Gail Carriger, and Connie Willis.

VENTRELLA: Did you have any training to be a writer and do you think that is necessary?

SHVARTSMAN: I don’t — and I don’t. I’m an award-winning writer, an editor of well over a dozen anthologies, and a professional translator. All of those roles are self-taught. I have no MFA, no framed piece of paper permitting me to engage in any of those endeavors. Which is not to say that one doesn’t have to learn. I’m still learning. I’m getting better at it with every page I write or edit or translate. There are great many ways to improve as a writer. I suggest attending a workshop such as Clarion or Viable Paradise if your schedule and finances permit this. Otherwise, join an online or an in-person writing group, find other writers who are on the same stage in their journey as you are, and level up together.

VENTRELLA: What’s the best advice you would give to a starting writer that they probably haven’t already heard?

SHVARTSMAN: Start out by writing short stories. It’s a great way to train your writing “muscles” and you get to try out different voices, tones, and methods of storytelling. And if your story doesn’t sell, at least it’s not a novel you may have poured months or even years of effort into. Short form will also teach you to write concise prose, which is a valuable skill.

VENTRELLA: What’s the worst piece of advice you’ve heard people give?

SHVARTSMAN: “Never open a story with a line of dialog.” This bit of nonsense is actual “advice” I got from a self-styled “expert” on an internet-based critique forum when I was just starting out.

There are a lot of people out there handing out advice or even trying to sell it who really don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s always a good idea to check the bona fides of anyone offering writing advice, to see if they ever managed to leverage their own wisdom into a sort of career you might like to emulate.

VENTRELLA: What writing projects are you working on now?

KAKISTOCRACY, book 2 of the Conradverse Chronicles, is with the publisher. I have a few short stories I need to write for anthologies; I still love doing those because themed anthologies generate fresh ideas for me, and nothing focuses quite like a deadline! After that, I will move on to writing book 3, tentatively titled Kings and Queens.

Click here to read an earlier interview with Alex

Interview with author Randee Dawn

Randee Dawn is a good friend who co-edited the anthology ACROSS THE UNIVERSE with me, and her first novel has just been released! I’m pleased to be interviewing her today.

Randee is the one on the left!

Randee is a Brooklyn-based entertainment journalist who scribbles about the glam world of entertainment by day, then spends her nights crafting wild worlds of fiction. She writes about the wacky world of show business for Variety, The Los Angeles Times, Emmy Magazine and Today.com and is the co-author of The Law & Order: Unofficial Companion. Find out more at RandeeDawn.com.

MICHAEL A. VENTRELLA: Let’s talk about your new novel TUNE IN TOMORROW. Where did the idea come from?

RANDEE DAWN: Short answer: Everywhere. Longer version: I pulled from a variety of life experiences – working at a cable access news program in college where the folks on camera were the pros, and everyone behind the camera was a college student (I was directing news programs when I was a sophomore); from working at a soap opera magazine for five years and seeing how the sausage got made on regular set visits; and years of covering the entertainment industry.

Then, I was commissioned to write a Tune in Tomorrow interactive text-based adventure for Choice of Games, and failed when it came to the coding aspect, and stepped aside. Fortunately, Tune was still my property and I went from an outline for a game to – a novel! Many changes were made in the process, needless to say.

VENTRELLA: How did you find a publisher? Did you get an agent? Connections?

DAWN: I’ve had an agent since 2015; Bridget Smith saw potential in a finished novel I’d written that was more serious, but still focused on the entertainment industry (rock ‘n rollers in that case). It didn’t get picked up, nor did the second novel she shopped for me, but third was the charm. Yes, connections for sure on the agent front – Bridget was recommended to me by the great Ellen Kushner (author of SWORDSPOINT, among other novels), and my words clicked with her! Do not underestimate the power of networking (though Ellen is a friend as well). The publisher was discovered by Bridget!

VENTRELLA: Who are some of your favorite authors and why?

DAWN: I love authors who tell good story, with characters I want to follow. The prose can be lovely, but underneath it all has to be story, not just vague angst and gazing out a window wondering about the woes of this life. The ones who I’ve enjoyed again and again include Jonathan Carroll, Stephen King, John Wyndam, Robert Cormier, Sarah Pinsker, Shirley Jackson and, more recently, Meg Elison. They tell cracking good tales first and foremost, with ideas and resolutions that stick to my heart.

VENTRELLA: Do you think fiction writers should stay away from political messages in their stories?

DAWN: The personal is political, is it not? If the story warrants it, then anything is valid. I don’t know how literal a writer needs to be in all instances, but the way you perceive the world filters into your characters and how they see the world, and the Mobius strip goes round and round. You don’t have to agree with my political stances to enjoy TUNE IN TOMORROW, but enjoying the book might give you a broader picture on the world.

VENTRELLA: You started off as a journalist. What made you decide to write fiction?

DAWN: I became a journalist because I wanted to write fiction. I had this sense that writing fiction was not going to pay my bills, but I could maybe possibly get paid for writing other kinds of words. On the one hand, that’s great: I’ve been able to make my career out of writing. On the other hand, writing non-fiction all the time gives me less time for what I really want to be doing – telling stories. That may be changing, but for now it’s always been a push-pull. I’m not sure how it would have been different if I’d pursued a different career; writing articles all these years has improved my writing, and made me better understand the editorial process – which has made me better able to get published.

VENTRELLA: You’ve been able to interview many famous people in your work – who was the most fun to meet? Who surprised you the most? Any interesting stories you wish to share?

DAWN: The most fun people, in my mind, are the creators. I’ve met a bunch of A-list and other alphabet-list stars, and some are delightful and some are pretty empty and many are clearly playing a role (The Actor Being Interviewed), so it varies wildly. Mostly I love talking about the people who are making things – directors, writers, even producers, and when I covered the music industry, the musicians.

Two quick stories: I interviewed Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal together in a restaurant that was mostly empty; we sat around a booth. (Note: Hugh Jackman, who I’ve now interviewed twice, is absolutely lovely. Jake Gyllenhaal is a little more reticent, but certainly nice enough.)

Anyway, this would have been in 2013, when both were in future Dune-director Denis Villeneuve’s “Prisoners.” Anyway, a couple of older ladies came in at some point and sat in the booth behind us. At some point, they came over to the table and began speaking exclusively to Hugh, fangirling away. I leaned over and made sure to introduce Jake Gyllenhaal to them, who they’d completely ignored!

Second story: During the “Good Omens” publicity run a couple of years ago, I got to interview Neil Gaiman. He was set up in a hotel room and publicists walked journalists in and out, one after the other. Now, if you’ve never interviewed anyone, you may not realize that having a third party in the room is disruptive, even if they say nothing. But some publicists feel they need to hand-hold their clients. The publicist for the show settled into a corner of the room as we started to chat, and I politely asked if she
would wait outside. I mean, I’ve done this for a lot of years. As has Neil. Neither of us needed to be chaperoned. She got extremely huffy and all but said, “Well, I never!” – but she left. I said to Neil, “Hope that wasn’t too awkward.”

“No, it was amazing,” he said. And this is why we love Neil Gaiman, Reason 8927B.

VENTRELLA: Have you ever surprised yourself when writing?

DAWN: All the time. When I’m deep in a story, it’s being told through me, not because of me, and the subconscious is all lit up with ideas, like a quantum computer figuring out every possibility and feeding me the best one. It’s in those times that I know exactly why I do this – and they make up for all the times you look at the page and think, I have no idea what to do next.

VENTRELLA: How much of writing is innate? In other words, do you believe there are just some people who are born storytellers but simply need to learn technique? Or can anyone become a good writer?

DAWN: There are things about being a person that make you a good writer: Curiosity about the world. Nosiness. Ability to observe and process small details and big ones alike. Willingness to upset the paradigm. An imagination that fires up even when you aren’t asking it to. Those things have nothing to do with the technical aspect of putting words on paper. I think the words-on-paper aspect can be learned. Some of the other stuff can be trained for, or at least practiced. But those who can’t harness their imagination, and who don’t know how to kick it into gear and let it go like a wild horse, are just going to be putting words down, not really telling story.

VENTRELLA: As a co-editor of an anthology, what did you learn about it that you were not expecting?

DAWN: That sometimes very, very good stories don’t make it for practical reasons. That it is not personal if you get rejected (well, probably not personal; I don’t know what relationship you have with your editors). That there are editors who are genuinely disappointed not to be able to include your story, sometimes.

VENTRELLA: What’s the best advice you would give to a starting writer that they probably haven’t already heard?

DAWN: Don’t do it unless you are willing to do it in silence, without feedback, without being lauded or recognized in any way. Of course you will try to get all those things eventually, but not having them should not kill your desire to write. If the only person who ever reads your work is you, you still will do it. Then, you can begin to write.

VENTRELLA: What’s the worst piece of advice you’ve heard people give?

DAWN: “Let me tell you how to fix this.” Back to Gaiman – my favorite piece of advice he gave once is this: “When people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.” Take suggestions, but take them with grains of salt.

VENTRELLA: What writing projects are you working on now?

DAWN: I have a draft of a novel about all-female superheroes that I’d love to get to my agent, but word has it that those are very hard to sell. I also have several chapters of the semi-sequel to Tune in Tomorrow that I’d also like to tackle, but may hold until I see how the book does. And I have a short horror story that’s about ¾ of the way done … I’d like to wrap that one up first. But having just gotten back from the five-day WorldCon in Chicago, I need a nap first!

Terin Ostler and the Zombie King

My latest book is now available, featuring all of the short stories that have been published in various anthologies and magazines over the years, along with a few brand new stories.

Check it out!

“From peeved epic heroes coping with zombies and dwarves who dye their beards, to a pirate captain who refuses to learn the names of his new crew (they won’t be with him long), to a desperate time-traveling Jesus impersonator, to Groucho and Chico Marx gumming up the machinery of Hell-Michael Ventrella’s stories provide laugh-out-loud entertainment.” -Gregory Frost, award-winning author of Shadowbridge

Three Time Travelers Walk Into…

My latest anthology is now available!

The idea behind the book is simple: Take three famous people from history, throw them together somehow, and have an adventure.

The book contains the following stories by these great authors (as announced here a few months ago) with the characters they have chosen listed:

“At the Chocolate Bar” by Jody Lynn Nye (George Washington Carver, Julia Child, Im-Hotep)
“The Jurors” by Lawrence Watt-Evans (F. Scott Fitzgerald, Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin, William Tecumseh Sherman)
“Star Rat’s Tale” by Allen Steele (Marlon Brando, Jesus Christ, Caesar Romero)
“A Vampire, an Astrophysicist, and a Mother Superior Walk into a Basilica” by Henry Herz (Neil deGrasse Tyson, Vlad Tepes, Mother Teresa)
“The Greatest Trick” by Louise Piper (Charles Baudelaire, Cassie Chadwick, Martin Luther King Jr.)
“The Mystic Lamb” by Gail Z. Martin (Edgar Cayce, Maggie Fox, Harry Houdini, Nicola Tesla)
“Episode in Liminal State Technical Support, or Mr. Grant in the Bardo” by Gregory Frost
(Ambrose Bierce, Cary Grant, Ameila Earhart)
“The Eternal Library” by L. Penelope (Zora Neale Hurston, the Queen of Sheba, Tituba)
“Unfolding Time” by David Gerrold (Harlan Ellison, Dorothy Fontana, David Gerrold)
“Punching Muses” by S.W. Sondheimer (Frida Kahlo, Kusama Yayoi, Sappho, Oscar Wilde)
“Wednesday Night at The End Times Tavern” by James A. Moore (Cotton Mather, Robert E. Howard, Prince Radu of Wallachia)
“A Christmas Prelude” by Peter David (Ali Baba, Don Quixote, Mephistopheles)
“Cornwallis’ Gift” by Heather McKinney (Elizabeth Bathory, Michael Jackson, George Washington)
“What You Can Become Tomorrow” by Keith R.A. DeCandido (Josh Gibson, Katherine Johnson, Mary Shelley)
“Nostradamus’ Angels” by Hildy Silverman 
(Marie Antoinette, Marie Curie, Mary Todd Lincoln)
“The Last Act at the Time Cabaret” by Adam-Troy Castro (Lansford Hastings, Joseph Pujol, Billie Ritchie)
“Never Meet Your Heroes” by Eric Avedissian (Blackbeard, John Dillinger, Jesse James)
“The Adventure of the Confounded Writer” by Jonathan Maberry (Arthur Conan Doyle, Ed McBain, H.G. Wells)

My Ravencon 2022 Schedule

from a previous Ravencon

I’ll be back to my original home town Richmond for Ravencon on the weekend of April 29th through May 1st. The Guest of Honor is Terry Brooks.

 Here’s my schedule:

Panels From Hell (Friday 6 pm): Okay, you’re on a panel and the person next to you does –(?), an audience member says –(?), the room starts shrinking, or a three-headed demonic creature starts a tap dancing routine while you’re doing a reading—so what do you do? Come and hear real life horror stories that will curl your toes. Panelists: R.S. Belcher, Wayland Smith (M), Bud Sparhawk, Michael A. Ventrella

The Best Animated Movies Ever (Friday 10 pm): Everybody has their favorites. Maybe it’s a Disney classic,
maybe it’s something by Ralph Bakshi, but we know it’s probably a Studio Ghibli movie. Panelists: Roger Carden, James Deeley, Michael A. Ventrella (M)

Getting the Law Right in Fiction (Saturday noon): Getting the law right in fiction is tricky. Our panel of law experts will answer any questions you have about fictional interactions with the legal system. Panelists: Jim Stratton, Michael A. Ventrella (M), Steve White

Reading (Saturday 2 pm): Panelist: Michael A. Ventrella

What are Sensitivity Readers (Saturday 4 pm):  Sensitivity readers are a subset of beta readers who review unpublished manuscripts with the express purpose of spotting cultural inaccuracies, representation issues, bias, stereotypes, or problematic language. We’ll discuss their importance as well as how best to work with them. Panelists: Dr. J. “Cal” Baldari, Sandra Baldari, C. McDonnell, Michael A. Ventrella (M)

How Will Future Generations View Harry Potter? (Saturday 8 pm): Will Harry Potter be a classic tale for future generations or has it just been a product of the media and promotional circus surrounding it? (And, y’know, the other stuff…) Panelists: Alexander G.R. Gideon, Peter Prellwitz (M), Michael A. Ventrella

135 Years of Sherlock Holmes (Sunday 10 am): Yes, there’s been an uptick in Holmes reworkings since most of the original stories entered the public domain but that hasn’t diminished our interest in a 135-year-old character. Why do we still enjoy seeing the same stories over and over again? What about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s detective makes him so re-readable? Panelists: Flynnstress (M), Jim Stratton, Michael A. Ventrella

Activism: Inside and Outside of Fandom (Sunday noon): Many fans and con attendees are very involved in current social movements. Some have extended that work into the fandom and con community. Let’s discuss this work both in fandom and in the greater society, and how that impacts us as fans and creators in this genre. Panelists: Cass Morris, Maya Preisler (M), Stormraven, Michael A. Ventrella

The difference between fantasy and steampunk

FANTASY:

“O Great Wizard, what is that in your hand?”

“This? This is my Wand of Wonder. It shoots lightning!”

“How does it work?”

“Magic!”

STEAMPUNK:

“Professor, what is that in your hand?”

“This? This is my Transmognifying Eludicator. It shoots lightning!”

“How does it work?”

“Science!”

My upcoming books

Three Time Travelers Walk Into… (edited by me) has been sent for reviews and we’re doing final proofreading and cover design. Due out in late June. (Fantastic Books)

The Beatles on the Charts is being proofread as well, and I have a deadline of March 31 to turn it into the publisher. No publication date yet. (McFarland & Company)

The Top Ten Animated Films is behind schedule and on hold because I need more people in animation to respond … so please pass the word. (BearManor Media)

Terin Ostler and the Zombie King (and Other Stories) is at the publisher and is waiting for publication! Next in line is the collection of short stories in that world, Tales of Fortannis, that I am editing, featuring my favorite stories from the five Tales of Fortannis collections that are now out-of-print. (Fantastic Books)

Bully! (the sequel to my Teddy Roosevelt steampunk novel Big Stick) is still being written because I keep doing these other books instead (and, you know, I have a job). (Eric Flint’s Ring of Fire Press)

Another fun anthology project is in the works but I can’t announce it yet.

Making it up as you go along

Lots of my author friends are posting this meme, thinking it’s a silly criticism.

But it isn’t.

I’ve read books that felt like the author had no point. Scenes were unneeded, plotlines rambled, and it was like a kid playing with toys making it up as they went along with no idea how it would end.

It’s a valid criticism.

The “just making it up” applies to all fiction. It’s the “as they went along” part that is a valid critique.

It’s possible to write a good book as you go along but it should never read like you did that.

I outline my books very sparingly, setting things up so that the plot follows logically and everything fits like it should. But when I start writing, sometimes I find the plot veering off in different directions and if it feels like that’s what it should do, I go along. But I always end up at my destination and hit the points inbetween.

But really, how the book gets completed isn’t important. You can write it out of order; you can have an outline; you can make it up as you go along. All that matters is the final version.

But if the final version feels like the story is going nowhere and is just rambling, then you’ve failed. If it ends without a satisfying conclusion because it wasn’t going anywhere, if the characters are the same at the end as they were at the beginning without having changed based on what happened, if no problem was solved or plotline resolved … then yeah, it’s going to be an unsatisfying book.

With good editing, you can make it work. The process isn’t important. The story is. If the story makes the reader go “Yeah? So? It just rambled all over the place,” it’s a failure even if you had outlined it that way!

Table of Contents reveal for “Three Time Travelers Walk Into…”

My next anthology is coming soon, and today I can announce the Table of Contents:

“At the Chocolate Bar” by Jody Lynn Nye (George Washington Carver, Julia Child, Im-Hotep)
“The Jurors” by Lawrence Watt-Evans (F. Scott Fitzgerald, Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin, William Tecumseh Sherman)
“Star Rat’s Tale” by Allen Steele (Marlon Brando, Jesus Christ, Caesar Romero)
“A Vampire, an Astrophysicist, and a Mother Superior Walk into a Basilica” by Henry Herz (Neil deGrasse Tyson, Vlad Tepes, Mother Teresa)
“The Greatest Trick” by Louise Piper (Charles Baudelaire, Cassie Chadwick, Martin Luther King Jr.)
“The Mystic Lamb” by Gail Z. Martin (Edgar Cayce, Maggie Fox, Harry Houdini, Nicola Tesla)
“Episode in Liminal State Technical Support, or Mr. Grant in the Bardo” by Gregory Frost
(Ambrose Bierce, Cary Grant, Ameila Earhart)
“The Eternal Library” by L. Penelope (Zora Neale Hurston, the Queen of Sheba, Tituba)
“Unfolding Time” by David Gerrold (Harlan Ellison, Dorothy Fontana, David Gerrold)
“Punching Muses” by S.W. Sondheimer (Frida Kahlo, Kusama Yayoi, Sappho, Oscar Wilde)
“Wednesday Night at The End Times Tavern” by James A. Moore (Cotton Mather, Robert E. Howard, Prince Radu of Wallachia)
“A Christmas Prelude” by Peter David (Ali Baba, Don Quixote, Mephistopheles)
“Cornwallis’ Gift” by Heather McKinney (Elizabeth Bathory, Michael Jackson, George Washington)
“What You Can Become Tomorrow” by Keith R.A. DeCandido (Josh Gibson, Katherine Johnson, Mary Shelley)
“Nostradamus’ Angels” by Hildy Silverman 
(Marie Antoinette, Marie Curie, Mary Todd Lincoln)
“The Last Act at the Time Cabaret” by Adam-Troy Castro (Lansford Hastings, Joseph Pujol, Billie Ritchie)
“Never Meet Your Heroes” by Eric Avedissian (Blackbeard, John Dillinger, Jesse James)
“The Adventure of the Confounded Writer” by Jonathan Maberry (Arthur Conan Doyle, Ed McBain, H.G. Wells)

How not to accept a rejection

I’m currently working on editing my next anthology, THREE TIME TRAVELERS WALK INTO…  

I have stories from some great Big Name authors: David Gerrold, Jonathan Maberry, Jody Lynn Nye, Lawrence Watt-Evans, Peter David, Allen Steele, Adam-Troy Castro, Gail Z. Martin, Keith DeCandido, James Moore, and L. Penelope!

Then I sent out word that I was looking for more stories and received more than 100 submissions for what may only be 5 or 6 spots left in the book.

Some stories made it to my “maybe” folder but clearly there is no way I can put every single story there. I have to narrow down the selection somehow. So some stories were rejected after the first read-through.

That’s how it works. It’s part of the business and you can’t take it personally. I have had stories rejected by friends and I have had to reject friends, and we all understand it.

But not everyone is like that.

Thought you might like to see an example of how not to deal with rejection. This one author did not handle it well, and insulted me by basically saying that clearly, the only reason his magnificent story was rejected was because I was just plain wrong.

All of our email exchanges below are absolutely true. I am not naming the person, but I am certainly telling other editors out there, because no one is going to want to deal with him. He posted nasty comments about this on my Facebook page so he outed himself anyway (in case you feel like searching for it). 

Typos are in the original.

We’ll start with the standard form rejection letter I send out, which he received along with many others.  My emails are in italics.

Dear Fellow Author:

As a writer with my own collection of rejection letters, I am well aware of how disappointing it is to get one.

I hate sending them as much as I hate receiving them.

I’m afraid your story didn’t make the cut.

Sometimes the story is good but the reason I have to reject it is because I already have a story with a similar theme or similar characters. Sometimes it’s because I may have liked your story but saw that it needed some substantive editing, and I would rather pick another good story that did not need it. Sometimes I like the story but I just have too many stories I like and I just can’t accept them all. Sometimes, honestly, it’s just not that well-written.

Some of the stories I have rejected so far are because there just wasn’t a story there. There would be three people from history, and they’d talk, and some stuff happened, but there wasn’t an adventure. There wasn’t a conflict that needed to be resolved. The characters were the same at the end of the story as they were at the start of the story. It may have had an interesting concept, but that was it. The setting is just the start of the story, and isn’t a story itself.

And sometimes it’s just a matter of taste, after all. I literally had way over a hundred submissions for maybe ten spots, so I can be picky. Another editor with the same stories may have made completely different choices.

Thank you again for sending me your story.

What a delightfully thorough brush-off. However, you neglected the most important variable of all: human fallibility. You might want to read Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s The Black Swan with particular attention to the section on Experts and “Empty Suits.”

My, you certainly handle rejection well.  I shall remember that for any future submissions.

Touched a nerve did I?  I would think an attorney woiuld have thicker skin.

heh!  No nerve was touched. I am just happy to know who to avoid in the future, as clearly you would not be a writer that would be accommodating or easy to work with.  Thank you for letting me know.

I am sorry I offended your fragile ego. A little bit of snark and you turn tail and run, Clearly, you are no litigator. Most likely a limp-wristed creature of privilege that leads a sheltered existence. You need to grow a set. And maybe wise up and stop taking the bait I keep dangling in front of you. You take yourself far too seriously for someone who purveys nothing more than empty entertainment. Or am I to believe your stories are life-changing?

 
You are so amusing!  I have enjoyed sharing your exchanges with fellow editors.  Good luck in breaking into the business.
 
You are punching above your weight little man. I have already found a home for my story.  So thanks for the blessing, but I didn’t need it.  Please give my warm regards to all your little friends, and feel free to share whatever you like. if you think my e-mails are newsworthy, then you have achieved a level of pettiness that would make Donald Trump proud. What you don’t get is that for your watery barbs to have any impact, I have to respect you. And I don’t. Maybe because I served my country in time of war, while you hid under your mother’s skirts. But by all means, keep trying to have the last word. By all means try to bully me with “Good luck trying to break into the business.”  My advice is for you to stick with shuffling deeds or chasing ambulances or whatever low level legal functions you perform, and continue to play the role of the little man who wants to be bigger. And for the record, Indie publishwers are a dime a dozen, so “breaking into the business” is not exactly a Herculean task. After all, if you can be a publisher, then anyone can. God bless KDP.
With warmest regards for a Happy New Year
 
I appreciate your comments — they will make a great blog post.  I especially love how you were rejected and are trying to make it seem like you rejected me.  Just lovely.  Thanks again.  Be sure to check my blog to see your work.
 
Well, this has certainly been fun. But this lop-sided exchange with a jellyfish who thinks he is a shark has run its course. I’m not sure how I made it seem like I rejected you. All I did was point out that you omitted a significant variable in your assessment of why stories get rejected. I provided you a citation that explored how experts are fallible, nothing more. You subsequently took umbrage and threw a hissy fit. I take it that as an attorney you never impeached an expert witness or appealed a judge’s ruling based on an error of law.
     If posting my e-mails makes you believe that you have bested me, then I am okay with that. I am nothing if not charitable to the weak.  Anyone with half brain knows I have owned you in these exchanges. You’re like Trump after he lost the election: a sore loser.I get that you are desperate to have the last word. So, by all means,  blog away and make yourself look pettier than you do now.  Odd, I who you claim is so disturbed by being rejected, feels no such obligation to redeem myself by trashing you on social media. I guess that’s the difference between being a man and a querlous adolescent schoolgirl. Blog away Mary, blog away, and make yourself look like a bigger jackass than you already do.
     As for me,there’s only so much fun to be had pulling the wings off a fly. So, this will be my last e-mail. You no doubt will want to get in the last word. But alas, I will delete it without reading it. And I have no interest in your blog. I have too much self-respect to debase myself with the rants of a delusional fool.
Your buddy forever and ever
(name removed)
P.S. I can send you tampons if you like, Consider them a parting gift to repay you for the fun I’ve had at your expense. It’s the least I can do since I was paid to yank your chain.
 
….
 
So, in conclusion, Since this is my blog for giving advice, here’s my advice.

 

Don’t do this.

Thank you.